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Finding the Beauty in Our Family of Two
March 2, 2023
Photo by Aleksandar Nakic / iStock
It was the final day of my son’s third week in preschool, and as I attempted to make my way to the door, he clung to my leg like a koala bear. His small voice, filled with emotion, tugged at my heartstrings as he softly begged, “Mom, I just want you.”
Step by step, I felt his tiny fingers gripping my jeans, his whimpering growing more desperate, while I struggled to gently peel him away so I could escape. Just then, his teacher approached, kneeling down and extending her hand to him, turning to me with a warm smile.
“I hope you know that everything he does is all about ‘Mom,’” she said.
I crouched beside him, pulling him into my lap as she continued, “Every time he draws, it’s ‘Look, Mommy and me!’ or when he’s driving in the play car, he says, ‘I’m driving with Mommy.’ Everything is always about you. It’s really sweet.”
With a kiss to his head, I thanked his teacher, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I quickly placed him in a chair to join his friends and made a hasty retreat to the car. She had no idea how much I needed to hear those words.
Sometimes, life doesn’t unfold as we envisioned. Trust me, ours has taken quite a few unexpected turns. After navigating through a series of challenging situations, it ended up being just the two of us—a single mom and her son. We might not have a lavish home or a healthy bank account to indulge in zoo trips, gymnastics classes, or frequent dining out. We lack the company of others to share laughs with or to gather around the dinner table. Yet, for a long time, I felt crushed by the weight of our simplicity.
But even amidst life’s chaos—those curveballs that leave you reeling, whether it’s loss, broken relationships, or other hardships—there emerges a truth that takes time to reveal itself. There is beauty in the midst of it all.
While the original plan didn’t include just the two of us, that’s how the cards fell. We’ve had our share of tough days, exhausting days, and those times I counted down the minutes until bedtime, a glass of wine in hand. Those days come and go, a part of this wild ride called life.
As we settle into our new rhythm—just two people, a mom and her boy—I’m realizing that these days are some of the sweetest of my life. They’re a precious gift, and I don’t want to let them slip by unnoticed.
I get to serenade him with Carrie Underwood songs (his absolute fave) at the top of my lungs in the car, his adorable little head bobbing along in time with the beat. I cherish our cozy mornings and late nights snuggled up in pajamas, diving into books, exploring the world of Thomas the Tank Engine, and enjoying toaster waffles with strawberries.
I’m the one who wakes up at 2 a.m. to share a twin bed when fear finds him, his tiny body relaxing into sleep the moment I’m close. I get to tame that wild bedhead every morning, crash toy cars on our ugly teal carpet, and hold his hand as he draws pictures of our adventures.
With each passing day, I’m blessed to be more than just his mom. I get to be his person, and he gets to be mine.
This life may not have been on my agenda, but it’s the one we’ve been given. It’s starting to feel like a new kind of beautiful—one that’s been bruised and battered along the way but has arrived at something uniquely perfect. The kind of perfect that includes toaster waffles, microwave meals, and dancing around the living room on Saturday mornings to his favorite songs. It’s that beat-up, tattered kind of perfect, like his beloved, ragged stuffed animal. It’s ours, and it’s undeniably beautiful, still holding that hint of perfection.
Because sometimes life doesn’t follow the script, and I’m learning that’s just how it goes. We’ll find a way to make it beautiful anyway.
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, Jamie Carter shares her journey as a single mother navigating life with her son. Despite the challenges and unexpected turns, she discovers profound beauty in their simple, shared moments. From singing in the car to cozy bedtime rituals, she embraces the imperfections of their life together as a unique kind of perfect.