To the Man Who Labeled Him a Fool: His Name Is Oliver

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Just the other day, a friend of mine was infuriated by a comment on her buddy Zoe’s Facebook page. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the forwarded screenshot: “Hey, sorry your kid is a fool, but God works in mysterious ways. 🙂 Enjoy.” My heart sank. Instantly, I was transported back to my childhood when I first heard that hurtful term. I recall a boy named Danny, standing alone by the swings, while a group of kids threw sticks at him, chanting, “Fool, Fool.”

Back then, I was only 6 and didn’t comprehend the weight of those words. I went home cheerfully singing, “Fool, Fool. Danny is a fool.” My sweet, gentle mom quickly turned on me. “What did you just say?” she demanded, her voice sharp.

I was confused. “Fool. There was a fool on the playground,” I explained.

“Don’t use that word. It’s very hurtful,” she said, kneeling to meet my gaze. I felt small under her intense stare. “He’s a person with a name. It’s Danny.”

My mother’s words echoed in my mind as I thought about Zoe’s handsome little boy. I envisioned his tousled hair and bright eyes filled with tears as he faced a similar situation. Is this what lies ahead for him?

Zoe’s little guy has a name. His name is Oliver, and he’s 5 years old. He has autism, but he’s so much more than just his diagnosis. Oliver adores video games and builds incredible Lego structures. He has a knack for numbers and could very well be a future engineer. He even knows when Zoe is feeling down and comforts her with sweet words of love.

Oliver. His name is Oliver.

Some people who use the term “fool” might argue about free speech. They may ask, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a word. Fool. Don’t be so sensitive. It was a joke.” But there’s nothing amusing about a child standing alone, feeling humiliated and mocked. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially not a child and certainly not by an adult who should know better.

I refuse to let Oliver or any child suffer for being different. I didn’t stand up for Danny back then, but I can make a difference now. We can all choose our words carefully and refuse to be bystanders.

There’s a campaign called “R-Word: Spread the Word to End the Word,” aiming to eliminate the derogatory use of the term for a few important reasons:

• The term isolates those with cognitive differences, suggesting they don’t belong with the rest of us. Clearly, that’s nonsense.
• It dehumanizes individuals with cognitive disabilities, making it easier for bullies to attack someone who lacks the dignity of a name.
• It hurts people, implying that anyone with an intellectual or developmental disability is worthless, which couldn’t be further from the truth. So why even use it?

Visitors to the R-word website can pledge: “I support the elimination of the R-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance of people with intellectual disabilities.”

My choice is clear. I stand with Oliver and Danny. I took this pledge the moment I finished writing this piece. What’s your choice? March 2 is the day of awareness for the Spread the Word to End the Word movement. Check out www.r-word.org to pledge to stop using the R-word.

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Summary

This article discusses the harmful effects of using derogatory terms for individuals with cognitive differences, highlighting the importance of treating everyone with respect and dignity. It encourages readers to choose their words wisely and join the movement to eliminate such language, using personal anecdotes to illustrate the impact of these words.