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Finding Balance Through the Power of ‘No’
My children are 2 and 3 years old, which, let me tell you, is a challenging stage with an equally challenging age gap. Every parent feels like they’re facing the toughest battle, and honestly, it’s hard to see beyond our own reality. I found myself drowning in the chaos, and instead of persevering or seeking advice, I surrendered to my kids’ whims, embracing permissive parenting like a pro. What could possibly go wrong? Fruit snacks for breakfast? Sure! Endless hours of cartoons? Why not? Skipping dinner altogether? Sounds good to me!
Before I knew it, I had completely relinquished control and awoke one day to discover that I had raised tiny tyrants who thought they were in charge. They quickly learned that if they cried loud enough or protested hard enough, I would give in just to keep the peace. It was a strange out-of-body moment where I realized I was being a pushover—and frankly, a pretty terrible mom. Talk about an eye-opener!
I could’ve easily brushed this realization aside, convincing myself it wasn’t that serious. After all, navigating parenting without a car in the Pacific Northwest makes outings tricky, right? I told myself I was just trying to be the fun mom within my limitations. But deep down, I knew I was dodging the hard truths about discipline and boundaries—and I felt ashamed.
Months later, I’ve started to rebuild both my approach and my children’s understanding. I had tangled a web of disobedience with rewards and consequences, and now I was slowly untangling it. This meant saying ‘no’ for no other reason than to teach my kids that life doesn’t always cater to their desires. Whether they scream or stomp their feet, the world won’t bend to their will, and neither will our household.
I had to learn this lesson myself. Often, all I want is five minutes of silence, and it’s tempting to hit the “next episode” button on Daniel Tiger or hand over another fruit snack just to get a moment of peace. But that’s me prioritizing my needs over theirs. More often than not, I have to put on my big-girl pants and do what’s best for them in the long run—even if their cries make me want to pull my hair out.
Parenting is all about finding that delicate balance between saying yes and saying no. Sure, there are days when I let them have a little extra fun—not from permissive parenting, but because sometimes it feels good to indulge. Then there are days when I’m pretty sure they think “no” is the only word I know. We’re all learning together. I’m teaching them that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and they’re learning to be respectful members of society. The mess I created is still being cleaned up, but I know I’m on the right path for all of us.
For more insights on navigating parenting and achieving balance, check out this post from our other blog. If you’re considering starting a family, resources like this one can help boost your fertility journey. Plus, this resource is excellent for anyone looking into pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
In this article, Jamie Collins shares her journey of finding balance in parenting by learning to say ‘no.’ After realizing she had allowed her young children to take charge, she started to re-establish boundaries and teach them valuable life lessons. The path to effective parenting involves a mix of discipline and indulgence, ultimately guiding children to understand their place in the world.