I Used to Think My Partner Was Selfish, But Now I Understand

home insemination Kit

Something incredible just happened. My partner and I were cozied up on the couch—he was browsing the internet (do people even say that anymore?) while I was engrossed in a book. The kids were bouncing off the walls, literally, as they hurled cushions everywhere. Suddenly, my youngest flopped onto a huge pillow, gasping, “I need water.”

I barely registered his plea, too absorbed in my book to care, until I felt my partner shift and head toward the kitchen. That’s when it hit me: 1) my son was thirsty; and 2) my partner was actually going to get him some water.

I was torn between being impressed with my partner for his initiative and surprised at myself for not acting sooner. I tend to think I deserve the credit, but I know I wouldn’t have grown into this mindset without his guidance. In the past, I would get furious at him for strumming his guitar while I was busy playing the role of the household servant. I often wondered how he could enjoy his free time while I was being climbed on by kids and rummaging through the house for toys. He’d be gaming on his phone while I was on a wild goose chase for a toy shovel. I wasn’t just amazed; I was envious. I was like a toddler throwing a tantrum, arms crossed, muttering, “Not fair!”

This led to plenty of arguments, during which I’d call him selfish and inconsiderate. He’d respond, “You can’t blame me for how you choose to spend your time. Set some boundaries! You need to enjoy life too—just say ‘no’ to the kids once in a while, kick back, and let’s grab takeout.” He had a point, and I couldn’t deny it.

It hasn’t been an overnight transformation, but by observing him, I’ve learned to relax and take a breather. Now, I find myself laughing out loud while reading, blissfully ignoring the kids. The funny thing? My family appreciates me more for it (and I feel the same).

My partner is an amazing dad. Just today, he played a matching game and engaged in two epic sword fights with our kids. He even let our toddler use him as a human pacifier (I guess he’s on the hunt for new sources now that I’m all dried up). But he also knows how to carve out time for himself, something I used to resent him for. Instead of complaining, I decided to learn from him. I love spending time with the kids but also believe I deserve to unwind. I used to write only during naps, but now I’m sitting at a kiddie picnic table while one kid swings and the other digs in the dirt. A little benign neglect is harmless.

My partner just returned from the kitchen and asked, “Do you want some water?” I’m stunned. Clearly, doing less has led to more. I finally see the light.

I used to find my partner annoying, but now I’ve adopted some of his ways. I even take five extra minutes on the toilet, scrolling on my phone after I’m done, and if I hear little footsteps approaching, I lock the door and pretend I’m still busy.

My partner isn’t selfish; he’s brilliant and a true inspiration.

For more insights on navigating parenthood and home insemination, check out our other blog posts like this one about home insemination kits or learn about artificial insemination from the experts at Cryobaby. Also, don’t miss this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination from Cleveland Clinic.

In summary, I’ve transformed my perspective on my partner’s behavior. Instead of viewing him as selfish, I’ve learned to embrace self-care and relaxation, benefitting both my family and myself.