Every dawn in our home kicks off with a delightful chaos of jumping on the bed. We have a queen mattress paired with a single bed on the floor, creating a co-sleeping setup that my little ones find utterly irresistible. They bounce and squeal, turning our bed into a makeshift trampoline. It’s all harmless fun—after all, they can’t really hurt anything, and they can’t fall far. So, I often find myself gritting my teeth and saying, “Sure, you can jump, but please don’t do any flips over the baby!”
Sometimes, saying yes to my kids is a breeze. “Absolutely, you can wear your dinosaur costume to the zoo!” or “Sure, ice cream for breakfast just this once!” But other times, it takes a lot of self-control and a deep breath to suppress my inner voice of reason. It challenges my instincts as a parent and demands a level of patience that isn’t always present. This “yes” game isn’t all sunshine and rainbows; it’s also about navigating the messiness of life.
Take coloring, for example. I enjoy it, and like many, I prefer to stay within the lines—because that’s how I learned to do it. Yet, my boys often have a different vision. Instead of neatly coloring Anakin Skywalker, they might choose to create wild, abstract blocks of color over him. I find myself thinking, “Why can’t you just color inside the lines?” But when I see their disappointed faces, I realize they aren’t looking for perfection—they’re expressing themselves.
The toughest part of embracing a “yes” mindset is adjusting my expectations. We often assume that pens should stay away from faces, puddles are for avoiding, and dead bugs shouldn’t come home with us. As parents, we’re conditioned to say no, but recognizing that instinct is crucial to opening up to a world of possibilities through our kids’ eyes. To them, beds are indeed for jumping, and ketchup is a perfect dip for chips. It might just be worth getting muddy for the sheer joy of it, especially when there’s a warm bath waiting afterward.
Saying yes may lead to dirty faces and mismatched outfits. It means climbing up the slide instead of sliding down. You might become the parent who raises eyebrows among others—why do they get to leap in puddles when I have to stay dry? Why can’t I wear my princess dress to the grocery store? The chaos of this approach can be contagious, and sometimes amusing.
The other day, my son decided to wear his Buzz Lightyear costume to the store. We got a few high-fives and plenty of smiles. A teenager even quipped, “If you can’t go to the store dressed as Buzz Lightyear when you’re five, then when can you?”
Remember, your kids will only be five for a short time. It’s essential to kick that internalized “no” to the curb. They have an entire lifetime ahead of them where “no” will be more common than “yes.” So let’s give them that freedom now and, in turn, grant ourselves a bit of freedom too. Let go of the stress, breathe deeply, and embrace yes.
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Summary
Embracing a “yes” approach in parenting can be both liberating and challenging. By adjusting expectations and allowing kids the freedom to explore and express themselves, parents can foster creativity and joy. This shift not only benefits the children but also offers parents a chance to relax and enjoy the chaos of family life.