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Why I Encourage You to Address My Kids’ Misbehavior
Growing up in the ’80s and early ’90s was a different ball game altogether. There were no cell phones tracking my every move, and my parents often had no clue where I was. The term “helicopter parenting” didn’t even exist, and it was common for shopkeepers or other adults to tell misbehaving kids to get it together—without any apologies to our folks. Most of us listened, and honestly, I think that’s what kept a lot of us on the right path.
A few years back, at the park, a woman approached me and expressed her regret for having to discipline my son. He was pushing her daughter, and she felt awful for stepping in while I was distracted. I assured her she was doing me a favor. I should have been the one apologizing, but more importantly, my son needed to learn a lesson—and he did. If she had simply walked away, he wouldn’t have felt any guilt or recognized his mistake. It would have been more like, “Hey, nobody’s stopping me; I’ll do it again!”
Most parents would probably feel uneasy if someone else tried to correct their child while they were nearby. We don’t need to overstep each other’s boundaries, but there are definitely moments when it’s appropriate to speak up. And there’s a respectful way to do it—no need for yelling or shaming.
If I see a child—regardless of age—doing something dangerous, harmful, or just plain rude, I’m going to intervene. And I expect the same from other adults. So, if my child disrespects you, feel free to let them know. If they’re upsetting another child, please, make them apologize. And if my kid is doing something outrageous, like vandalizing your property, by all means, call them out!
When I hear the saying “it takes a village to raise a child,” I wholeheartedly agree. As kids grow, they often need more than just their immediate family to guide them. Knowing that other adults are watching will make them think twice about their actions. I know it worked for me. Different adults can impart different lessons, and I welcome that for my kids. I want them to learn respect and understand the consequences of their actions. How can that happen if no one speaks up for fear of offending the parents?
Let’s face it—no matter how well-behaved your child is, there will come a time when they test the waters of bad behavior. And if you’re lucky, other adults will notice and step in. Just because a child tries on some “dickweed pants,” as I like to call it, doesn’t mean they’re inherently bad; even good kids make mistakes. The hope is that they’ll feel embarrassed if caught, and that might steer them away from repeating those behaviors in the future.
So, if I witness a child about to make a poor choice, I’ll certainly say something. If I see someone getting hurt, I won’t hesitate to intervene. But if it’s just something I personally dislike, I’ll keep my opinions to myself—because, hey, I’m not a dickweed. Thankfully, in my own mischief-filled youth, there were always adults around who cared enough to set me straight.
This article was originally published on May 17, 2016.
For more insights on parenting and other related topics, check out some of our other posts, like the one on home insemination kits or visit Make A Mom for expert advice. If you’re considering family planning, March of Dimes offers excellent resources.
Summary:
Encouraging accountability in children is essential for their growth. It’s beneficial when other adults step in to correct misbehavior as it teaches kids important lessons about respect and consequences. It’s okay for parents to rely on one another to keep kids in check, fostering a communal approach to raising responsible individuals.