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School Suggests Bullied Kids Should ‘Stop Playing the Victim’
Parents are rightly outraged after Brighton Academy shared a blog post that appears to blame bullied children for their own suffering. Bullying is a serious issue in schools, and while many parents and educators are doing their best to find solutions, a private school in the UK has stirred controversy with a post that seems to imply that victims are partly responsible for their treatment.
Brighton Academy recently featured an article on their resource blog by counselor and resilience coach Sarah Johnson. In her piece, Johnson argues that although bullies have their own challenges, victims are not without fault either. She insists it’s crucial for bullied children to “own your part of the problem, no matter how small, no matter how unfair it may seem.”
Johnson provocatively suggests, “If your child is being bullied, in the spirit of cleaning up your side of the street: Is he part of the problem? Even 5%? Is he a complainer, overly dramatic, or perhaps displaying negative body language?” Yes, according to her, if your child isn’t a perfect angel, they might somehow be inviting the bullying.
Let’s take a moment to consider the implications here. What if a child is bullied because of their appearance, disabilities, or other traits beyond their control? In that case, Johnson still seems to say: “Suck it up.” She argues that while it’s not the child’s fault, owning their part may involve standing up for themselves and reminding themselves that bullies are dealing with their own issues. “Time to own your part, and stop playing the victim,” she concludes.
Since the piece went live, parents have understandably raised their voices in protest, flooding the school’s social media with their concerns. One parent even asked, “So I should tell my son with autism to own his bullying?”
In response to the uproar, Headmaster Tom Richards took to Facebook to clarify the situation. He announced the cancellation of a scheduled appearance by Johnson and offered an “unreserved apology” to those upset by the blog post. He reiterated that while the school strives to be proactive about bullying, the post was meant as just one of many resources aimed at educating parents and students about respectful relationships and bullying.
Regardless of the school’s intentions, Johnson’s message is deeply troubling. Victims of bullying often already struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Teaching them to “take responsibility” for their own victimization only adds to their pain and can be seen as an excuse for unacceptable behavior by bullies. Kids can only endure so much before it takes a toll on their spirit, and no child should ever be made to feel that being bullied is their fault.
While qualities like “grit” and “self-belief” are indeed valuable, let’s shift the focus away from blaming the victims and towards addressing the bullies. For more insights on navigating these challenging dynamics, check out this related article on how parenting plays a role in the bullying cycle.
In light of all this, it’s clear that we need to change the narrative around bullying.
Summary
Brighton Academy faced backlash after a blog post suggested that bullied children should take some responsibility for their situation. The article, written by counselor Sarah Johnson, implied that victims might possess qualities that contribute to their bullying. Parents condemned the victim-blaming sentiment, prompting the school’s headmaster to issue an apology and clarify that the post was one of many resources aimed at discussing bullying. The conversation about bullying needs to focus on stopping the bullies rather than blaming victims.