Dear little one, Oliver, in the unlikely event that I find myself departing this world sooner than expected:
What a whirlwind these past few months have been! On March 18, you made me a father. Just a week earlier, on March 7, I experienced a stroke at the tender age of 36. It wasn’t a major stroke—no paralysis or loss of vision—but as my neurologist put it, it was a cautionary tale. While you’ve settled into your charmingly chaotic routine of feeding, sleeping, and filling diapers, I’ve been navigating a maze of medical specialists in neurology, cardiology, and more, all trying to uncover the mystery behind my health. So far, despite countless tests, they remain baffled.
Now, I’m not one to dwell on dark thoughts, and this isn’t a farewell letter, but it’s wise to share some fatherly wisdom, just in case disaster strikes.
Family Love is Unmatched
First and foremost, know that your immediate family—your mom, your grandparents, and a few select aunts and uncles—love you unconditionally. They cherish you for who you are, and you hold a special place in their hearts. The sooner you grasp this, the sooner you’ll realize the bittersweet truth: outside this circle, not everyone will hold you in such high regard.
Despite the awards and ribbons you might collect during childhood, understand that real life doesn’t come with participation trophies. You will inevitably flop at certain things, and that’s perfectly alright. Growing up is about discovering your unique talents, something you can’t do if you’re constantly being praised for mediocrity.
You may see friends receiving accolades they don’t deserve, and let me tell you, this kind of excessive validation often breeds arrogance. You don’t want to be a person who thinks they excel at everything, only to embarrass themselves later. A quick search of “Millennial Generation” will give you a laugh—or a cringe.
Your mom won’t call you the next sports star if you hit below .200 in baseball, nor will she crown you the next literary genius if you’re barely scraping by in English class. But trust me, there will be a few things that you’re passionate about and truly good at. Pursue those things, and dedicate time to cultivate your talents.
Choose Wisely: The Internet is Forever
As you enter your teenage years, please, please don’t make choices that could cut your story short before it even begins. Fast forward fifteen years, and you’ll be an impressionable teen navigating the tricky waters of adolescence. You’re bound to find yourself in some trouble—the key is to keep it on the lighter side.
If you find yourself at a party with a drink in your hand at 17 (and you probably will), don’t even think about getting behind the wheel. If you’re tempted to experiment with substances (and you might be), remember that not all drugs are created equal—especially heroin, which can be deadly. And if the opportunity for intimacy arises during your teenage years, don’t forget to protect yourself.
You’ll grow up in a world where the internet is both a blessing and a curse, capable of ruining reputations in an instant. Just a moment of poor judgment can have consequences far more severe than anything I faced back in my day. My best advice? Take a moment to think before you act in public.
Embrace Life Boldly
Don’t mistake my caution for an endorsement of passivity. Life is fleeting, and the four years you spend in high school will zoom by, leaving you wondering why it felt so monumental at the time. It’s not. So, live boldly and take life lightly.
If you think that crush is out of your league, let them decide that, not your insecurities. It’s better to try and miss than to never swing at all.
If someone throws a punch your way, stand your ground—hard. Cowards may avoid conflict, but self-respect is worth the risk of a black eye.
And if you’re hesitant to explore something new because it’s not popular? Don’t be. This isn’t just about being different; it’s about discovering your passions. A significant chunk of your adult life will be spent working, so aim to find a vocation—a calling you enjoy—rather than merely a job.
For the rest, the advice is simple: study diligently, stay active, and remember to eat your greens. And above all, don’t ever become a fan of that notorious rival team!
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Summary
In essence, Oliver, embrace your family’s love, navigate life’s challenges with awareness, and don’t shy away from being bold. The world is vast and full of possibilities waiting to be explored—seize them!