Life After Kindergarten: A Stay-at-Home Mom Takes the Plunge into the Workforce

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Last week, I met my friend, Jenna, for lunch at the playground, savoring our dwindling playdates. Her youngest is set to embark on the kindergarten adventure this fall, while she juggles a series of job interviews. “I’m so anxious,” she confessed.

“I can only imagine,” I replied, feeling a slight sweat forming on my palms. “Interviewing can be so stressful.”

“No, it’s not the interviews that scare me,” she said. “I’m nervous they’ll actually offer me a job! Until now, it felt like a fun daydream—‘Oh, I’ll work again someday.’ But now they’re discussing salary and travel, and I’m starting to freak out.”

I felt a knot in my stomach for her, wiping my palms on my jelly-stained sweatpants. I, too, have been trapped in the “Someday I’ll work again” fantasy. The reality hit me—she’s really stepping back into the workforce. She’ll need to wear proper pants. What will happen to her?

Six years ago, I left my job to stay at home with my first daughter, and the transition was a whirlwind. My doctor called it an “adjustment period,” offering me tissues and a prescription. It felt like landing on a different planet—one where stress came not from deadlines, but from the awareness that I could tumble down the stairs and no one would discover my absence until dinner.

I struggled at first, but as I welcomed two more children, I found my rhythm. Gradually, my grasp on the corporate world faded, replaced by story hour schedules and a mental map of the best playgrounds. Over the years, I learned to walk at a leisurely pace and eat in record time. I only buy pants that can double as pajamas. I even visit three grocery stores just to assemble one salad!

People frequently ask me what my plans are once all my children are in school. I used to joke about lounging around and gathering cobwebs—reaping the benefits of my hard work. In the early days, when my kids were babies and my mental health was fragile, that sounded like bliss.

Now, though, I can’t utter those words without feeling a lump in my throat, conjuring images of me chatting with the toilet brush. Lately, I’ve been pushing myself to move at a pace that keeps me from spiraling into chaos. They say idle hands are the devil’s workshop, and in my house, the devil enjoys munching on puffer tacos while peeking at the neighbors. I refuse to become that person.

In just a year and a half, I’ll be slipping into my “big girl” pants and stepping out the door. The thought is terrifying. It feels like breaking free from my comfortable cocoon into the unpredictable fast lane of adulthood.

“Does my brain even still function?” I wonder, discovering a mini Snickers wedged between the couch cushions, dusting it off before popping it into my mouth. What if I have to work late? What happens if my kids fall ill? What about summer? What if I need to gasp juggle multiple tasks?

Even animals are granted a transition phase before they’re released back into the wild—retrained in survival skills and presented with mock scenarios to gauge their reactions. They’re surrounded by caretakers to ensure they don’t make fatal mistakes. Diving headfirst into a completely foreign environment without guidance feels like a recipe for disaster.

I glanced across the picnic table at Jenna and took a hefty bite of my salad. We’re both doomed.

I thought back to my former workplace—it feels like a lifetime ago. I can barely recall what it’s like to go more than ten minutes without asking someone if they need to use the restroom. I wonder if I could even manage it, or if I’d blurt it out in the middle of a meeting.

Then I remembered the coffee makers, the snack drawers, and the cleaning crew that took care of our office every night.

“Hey, at least if you fall down the stairs, someone will call for help right away,” I joked. She nodded. Maybe we should focus on that as our motivating carrot for now.

This article was originally published on May 19, 2016.

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In summary, transitioning from stay-at-home mom to the working world is fraught with challenges and anxiety. As my friend prepares to face interviews and potential job offers, I reflect on my own journey and the inevitable changes that lie ahead; the thought of returning to work after years of focusing solely on motherhood is both exciting and terrifying.