These Are the Days (And Some Are Just Plain Tough)

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These Are the Days (And Some Are Just Plain Tough)

by Lisa Johnson
May 24, 2016

They say these are the days we’ll cherish in the years to come—the moments we’ll look back on fondly. The cuddles we get now will gradually fade until we find ourselves nostalgic for that sweet scent of baby shampoo. The nights of showering them with kisses will soon transform into sneaky exits and slammed doors. They tell us we’ll long for the simplicity of time-outs and obligatory apologies.

In this chaotic whirlwind of toddlerhood, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I adore my little treasures more than anything. Yes, I’d take a bullet for them. I’d walk through fire if it meant they’d always be happy. But, truth be told, I could live without the jack-in-the-box bedtime routines, the surprise messes in their underwear, and the wild mood swings that would make Dr. Jekyll proud.

When you’re deep in the trenches of parenting, it can be nearly impossible to focus on the bigger picture. Sure, there’s no shortage of heartfelt letters designed to tug at our heartstrings and fill us with guilt over skipping a glitter craft, but what about those days when you just can’t muster the energy for glue, playdough, or feather boas? Those days when you can’t break up yet another fight over the beloved Elmo doll? The days when they go to bed not quite sparkling because you ran out of steam before even getting to bath time. Does that make us bad moms or ungrateful for these moments?

The internet has a funny way of making us feel that way. It bombards us with perfect snapshots of seemingly flawless mothers, who are bursting with energy and radiating happiness. We see smiling children wreaking havoc in the kitchen with shaving cream and crayon masterpieces. We’re led to believe we must cater to our children’s every whim at lightning speed or risk raising future serial killers. But the internet lies. It only shows us the highlight reel of life, leaving out the messy, chaotic realities.

It doesn’t capture the ten minutes of screaming that preceded that perfect photo. It skips over the mom muttering under her breath while scrubbing the bathroom floor for the fifth time because her son can’t seem to locate the toilet. It doesn’t let you see the worn-out T-shirt you’re rocking for the third day in a row at drop-off. It doesn’t show the raw truth of these days.

I don’t want to come off as ungrateful for the time I spend with my boys. I cherish this new role in my life; it’s not merely a chore but a miraculous gift I’ve been given. With every ounce of my being, I strive to raise kind, responsible, and well-rounded men. But I also know that these days will evolve; only in hindsight will they seem magical.

Some days we’ll explore dinosaur exhibits and museums, reliving hours of childhood wonder. Other days, we’ll tackle schoolwork together and learn to count without needing assistance. There will be days filled with family laughter and firefly hunts long past bedtime. Some days will be pure joy, filled with art projects and creativity.

But there will also be days when we don’t even get out of our pajamas. Days filled with endless TV marathons. Days when a kid finds more joy in an empty popcorn bucket than in the pile of toys nearby. Days filled with time-outs and sibling squabbles over toy trains. Days when negotiating over veggies feels like a hostage situation. Days when we leave the grocery store with our pride in tatters while our child screams for a bag of goldfish. Some days, I’ll even indulge in secret bonbon snacks during hide-and-seek. Yes, some days will be tough.

Years down the line, I’ll look at the wonderful men my boys have become and feel a wave of gratitude for everything we’ve been through. I’ll remember the beautiful moments that make up this journey. I know those memories will include not just the magical times that made me feel like a supermom, but also the mundane, messy days filled with cleaning and chaos. I’ll let go of the days that felt like hell, forgive myself for moments of embarrassment, and forget the letters that made me feel inadequate. In time, these days will be just that—days.

But for now, as I navigate this whirlwind of toddlerhood, fighting the good fight for my sanity, I resolve to go to bed each night feeling accomplished, knowing my kids had food in their bellies (even if not all of it was healthy), played with toys (even if they were the generic ones), and wore clothes (sometimes several generations old). Some days will create lasting memories, and others I’ll struggle to put behind me.

While I appreciate hearing from those who’ve walked this path that these are the days, right now, as I grapple with a tantruming toddler at the park, attempt to squeeze in a shower during a brief nap, and eye my husband longingly while I eat at a kid-friendly restaurant, I don’t need the reminder. I already know these days, and if I’m being honest, some days I can’t wait for them to be just days.

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Summary:

This article explores the tumultuous yet rewarding journey of parenting during toddlerhood. It candidly discusses the messy realities that come along with the joy of raising children, highlighting the contrast between the idealized versions often portrayed online and the day-to-day struggles many parents face. Author Lisa Johnson reflects on the bittersweet nature of these formative years, acknowledging both the magical and challenging moments while expressing a commitment to cherish the journey despite its difficulties.