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The Ultimate Dilemma of Motherhood
This, dear reader, is Motherhood.
Just last night, I had barely sunk into my tub for a long-overdue moment of relaxation when I heard it—the unmistakable signs that my little whirlwind (a.k.a. my 2-year-old) was not nestled in his bed as I’d hoped. First came the thundering footsteps down the stairs, then a high-pitched wail, and finally a colossal crash as my magical munchkin barreled through the bathroom door (which, let’s be honest, is more like a relic from the 1960s than a functional barrier). It feels like all he has to do is glance at a door for it to swing open, unless, of course, he’s the one locked out.
Then, without warning, he launched himself into the tub with me, knocking over my cup of tea and creating an aquatic disaster.
This, my friends, is Motherhood.
In a flash, I hoisted him up out of the steaming—some might say scalding—water and began the clumsy task of peeling off his wet clothes. The moment he realized he was about to join me in the tub, his tears stopped, and excitement took over. I opened my mouth, ready to reprimand him or at least vent my frustration, but then I caught his gaze.
His little face fell, and his head drooped, waiting for my “no.” I’d like to pretend I relented out of some maternal instinct, but honestly, I just didn’t want to endure another tantrum.
This, is Motherhood.
Once he was stripped down, he started bouncing with glee. I had to prevent him from jumping in while I drained the scalding water and replaced it with a more toddler-friendly temperature that sent chills through me. I thought about standing up to bathe him alone, but as soon as I began to rise, he wrapped his pudgy little arms around my neck. That tugged on my heartstrings, so I settled back down in the tub with my squirmy baby on my lap.
This, is Motherhood.
As I washed his golden curls, I realized how much they had grown. No longer could I cradle his tiny feet in my hand; now they were far too big. I remembered the last time we had a bath together, he still fit perfectly on my lap. Now he’s almost half my height!
As his sleepy head rested against me, I recalled the molars he’s teething (which definitely led to our late-night bath adventure) and how the dentist had just told me, “The next round of this will be in about four years.” In four short years, these nighttime baths will be a thing of the past. How much bigger will he be then? Will we have cut his hair? What will he sound like? Who will he become?
This, is Motherhood.
At some point during our splashing, my 9-year-old, who shares my flair for photography, captured a snapshot of us. When I glanced at it, I didn’t see the cluttered bathroom; I saw a sanctuary where evening baths cultivate peace and connection. I overlooked my disheveled appearance and instead saw a joyful spirit, a body that has accomplished remarkable feats, the greatest being bringing three incredible souls into the world that I get to cherish and nurture.
Motherhood is a beautiful chaos. It’s about being resolute yet yielding, sometimes for all the right reasons and sometimes just out of sheer fatigue. It’s about constantly questioning your choices, pondering what could have been done better. It’s carving out time for yourself while still pouring every bit of love into your children. Motherhood is a paradox; you can never be completely sure you’re doing it right, so you breathe through the tough times and inhale every moment of joy.
This, is Motherhood.
If you’re curious about how to navigate the journey of motherhood, you might find more insights in our other blog post at Intracervical Insemination. And for those interested in the topic of home insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource. If you’re looking for support in your pregnancy journey, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Motherhood is a delightful paradox filled with chaos, joy, and moments of reflection. It’s about navigating the challenges while cherishing the small victories, questioning decisions, and finding balance between self-care and nurturing your children. Through all its messiness, the experience of motherhood is a unique blend of love and growth.