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I Feel Like a No-Fun Parent
Parks. Playgrounds. Zoos. Museums. Mommy and Me classes. Day camps. Workshops. Regardless of your child’s age or interests, there seems to be an endless array of activities designed to get kids out of the house and mingling with others.
There’s just one little hitch: I’m not particularly fond of any of those activities. And that’s putting it mildly. I do make an effort, I promise! But as a dedicated homebody, the outings that most parents cherish feel like exercises in anxiety for me. Sure, I’ll occasionally take my kids to a public event (and by “fun,” I mean they enjoy it while I pretend to as I count the seconds until it’s over). Most of the time, these outings are reserved for weekends when my partner and I can tag team, or as a special treat for something like acing a test.
Of course, this brings on a hefty dose of mom guilt. The other day, while I was enduring a story hour that felt like it lasted three lifetimes, another mom struck up a conversation with me. “Isn’t this place amazing?” she gushed, her enthusiasm reminiscent of someone discussing great dessert. “Wednesdays are a blast for Jake and me! We hit the playground after breakfast so he can burn off some energy, then it’s toddler music class at 10. After that, we grab lunch at that burger joint with the epic ball pit. Then we come here, and after this, we’re off to ‘Wacky Wednesday’ at the petting zoo. Tickets are half off!”
“That sounds fantastic!” my mouth said, while my inner voice was screaming, “That sounds like torture!” But I added, “Jake’s a lucky kid.” And he is, which is why I feel that nagging sense of inadequacy whenever I meet parents like Jake’s mom. Why can’t YOU be that enthusiastic and involved? my inner critic chastises (and then scolds me for not buying organic bananas).
But I have to cut myself some slack. I have four kids, while Jake’s mom has, well, Jake. Coordinating activities is never as straightforward as just heading to one location. Each child has their own desires, often conflicting with one another. This complicates time management—there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to shuttle kids to various events, prepare meals, assist with homework, and make sure I’m not living in a biohazard zone. And don’t even get me started on the cost of four admission fees or tuition—I’d practically need a second mortgage, and I’m already pinching pennies just to manage our grocery bill (even sans the organic bananas).
My children may not be growing up with a mother who relishes every outing and enrichment opportunity, but they are learning how to whip up pancakes, use the last of the glue for “goop,” and enjoy nature walks where we pause to marvel at an anthill together. The experiences we share at home, and the memories we create, are equally valid and precious—just in a different way. And when we do venture out to a museum or play miniature golf, it becomes a special occasion rather than a routine Wednesday.
Some parents love fishing. Others prefer knitting. Some even enjoy going commando. Just as there are diverse people in the world, there are different kinds of parents—those who thrive on social activities and those who prefer the comfort of home. And that’s perfectly fine. Because no matter what we choose, the guilt will inevitably follow.
For more insights into parenting and family life, check out our other blog posts like this one about home insemination, or visit Make a Mom for authoritative resources. If you’re looking for reliable information on pregnancy, Healthline is an excellent choice.
Summary:
Navigating parenting can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when it comes to the pressure of social activities. While some parents thrive in public settings, others find joy in quieter, home-based experiences. It’s essential to recognize that different parenting styles are valid and that guilt can accompany any choice. Ultimately, creating meaningful memories at home can be just as enriching as those made outside.