Surprise: 43 and Expecting!

home insemination Kit

After the arrival of my first child, my partner, Jake, and I assumed that adding to our family would be a breeze. Instead, we found ourselves grappling with secondary infertility, which snuck in like an unexpected guest at a party. Following a string of chemical pregnancies, a miscarriage, and a hefty dose of fertility treatments over 28 months, I finally welcomed twin daughters into the world at the age of 41.

Feeling overwhelmed, I was eager to tie my tubes after my C-section, but the religious hospital where I delivered had other plans regarding birth control. I figured that nursing would delay my ovulation, but my body had different ideas, returning to its normal cycle after just four months, despite my around-the-clock nursing routine. We knew abstinence was a surefire way to avoid surprises, but with two newborns, any moment of solitude was quickly consumed by the need for sleep. Let’s just say our romantic life took a backseat.

Eventually, the fog of sleepless nights began to lift. We started catching up on sleep, the twins were weaned, and I finally began to focus on my own needs. I even managed to shed the baby weight and donate my entire stash of maternity clothes. With my childbearing days seemingly behind me, I looked forward to the upcoming autumn when the girls would be in preschool for five mornings a week. The thought of three and a half hours of solo time each day felt exhilarating.

As I began to feel more like myself, my libido reawakened as well. Our trusty condoms, which had long given up hope, were now in urgent need of a strategy overhaul. After a long talk, Jake agreed to undergo a vasectomy, but I worried whether he was truly on board with that decision. In case of my untimely passing, I wanted him to keep his options open for love, marriage, and possibly more kids. He assured me that even if I were to unexpectedly join our expired condoms, he felt satisfied with our family as it was.

So, I waited. I asked Jake periodically if he had scheduled the appointment, and each time the answer was “soon.” I figured it was best to give him the space he needed. Then one day in November, he informed me that he had set up a consultation with the doctor, with a vasectomy scheduled for three weeks later. I gave myself a mental high-five for being such a supportive partner.

A couple of nights later, I woke up in the middle of the night with an odd case of heartburn. I brushed it off as something I ate, but then it happened again the following night. My fertility calendar app told me my period was due, but I hadn’t tracked ovulation or temperatures. Could I possibly be pregnant? It seemed far-fetched, but I rummaged through my closet and found some leftover pregnancy tests.

Only someone familiar with fertility struggles would notice what I saw—a faint line visible only from a specific angle. After three tests over two days, Jake finally spotted the shadow. I initially thought it would be another chemical pregnancy, convinced the lines would fade away. But on day five, when the line was unmistakably bold, I panicked and called my OB/GYN for blood work.

Yes, at 43, I was six weeks pregnant. Despite being married and categorized as advanced maternal age, I felt like I was starring in a reality show about teen pregnancy. I was exhausted, nauseous, and frustrated to discover I had gained 10 pounds in a week.

It’s hard to get excited about a pregnancy that may not stick. There’s a 40 percent chance of miscarriage and increased risks for both the baby and me. Yet, I couldn’t feel sadness about this unexpected journey. This baby was conceived against all odds, almost like a miracle (or an immaculate conception). Adjusting to this new reality wasn’t easy. As Jake noted, we thought our family was complete. But if this little one makes it to full term, I remind myself that every child expands your heart, making room for even more love.

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Summary

This article recounts a woman’s unexpected journey into pregnancy at the age of 43, following struggles with infertility. Despite the challenges, she expresses joy and optimism about welcoming another child into their family, emphasizing that love only grows with each addition.