Hey Little One, It’s Time for Pants!

home insemination Kit

Dear 3-year-old,

I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond, more than words can convey…but we need to have a chat.

Today, let’s discuss pants. Yes, pants! Specifically, your pants.

You see these things? These are called pants. And guess what? Everyone wears them. Why, you ask? Well, people wear pants for various reasons, such as:

• Keeping warm
• Comfort
• Modesty
• Hygiene
• For the comfort of all those other pants-wearing folks around you
• Because it’s the law!

You have a whole drawer full of options to cover your bottom. Whether you choose long pants or shorts, jeans or sweats, fitted or elastic—honestly, I don’t mind what you wear, as long as it’s something.

I could care less about how your outfit looks, whether your clothes match, or if you have on socks. All those details are negotiable, and after more than seven years of this motherhood thing, I’ve learned to pick my battles wisely.

However, pants? That’s a non-negotiable matter.

I’ve let you roam around Target dressed as a superhero. We’ve gone shopping while you were in a princess costume. You’ve even worn mismatched shoes to the park. I understand you’re trying to express your individuality and assert your power, but you must do it while wearing pants.

If I were to stroll around in public without pants, I’d find myself in a bit of trouble, and trust me, you wouldn’t want to be caught without pants at the playground (two words: wood chips!).

I’ve affectionately called you the New England Nudist in the past, but it’s really not funny anymore. For almost a year now, when I ask you to put on pants, it triggers a full-blown tantrum. It’s like clockwork: you wake up at 6:30 a.m. and parade around naked, blissfully ignoring my pleas to get dressed—even when I remind you we have places to be.

Then, after a heroic effort to get you upstairs—where the pants are—you unleash a fit that could rival a dramatic stage performance. You scream, cry, and act as if your pants are ablaze. This spectacle can last anywhere from 30 minutes to three hours. More often than not, I end up wrestling pants onto your squirming, furious little body.

This ongoing pants battle is utterly exhausting. I’d love to raise a white flag, but I can’t. Why? Because as I mentioned, pants are essential.

Can we please negotiate something else? How about your shirt? Your shoes? Anything but your pants?

I love you dearly.

But I love you even more when you’re wearing pants.

With love,
Your weary mother (who has a soft spot for comfy yoga pants)

P.S. For more parenting insights, check out this other blog post on our site.

Summary

This humorous letter from a mom to her 3-year-old addresses the ongoing challenge of getting her child to wear pants. While she’s flexible about many aspects of their outfits, she emphasizes that wearing pants is non-negotiable. The mom shares her struggles with tantrums and the importance of adhering to societal norms regarding clothing.