I Stopped Following Pediatrician Advice, and My Kids Are Thriving

Let me tell you, my pediatrician doesn’t put me through the wringer about my parenting choices. But as he runs down his usual checklist, I find myself bending the truth more often than not. It’s not that I stop to contemplate honesty; I know where that leads—nowhere good. Instead, I expertly navigate us in and out of the doctor’s office before any of my three kids can lay their hands on those germ-laden communal toys.

I fib about their eating habits, sleep routines, and yes, even the amount of TV they binge-watch. I know the answers he’s looking for, and I deliver them like a seasoned pro. After three kids, I’ve learned the script well.

It’s not that I’m trying to win any parenting awards; I really couldn’t care less about my pediatrician’s opinion of me. The last thing I need is a lecture on co-sleeping or how my kids should have the perfect balanced diet. After raising three kids, I feel pretty confident in my choices, and I’m done fretting over adhering to some outdated playbook.

Learning from Experience

When my first child, Oliver, arrived, I was glued to my pediatrician’s every word, desperate for assurance that I was on the right track. I wanted him to hit every milestone precisely and kept my mothering record squeaky clean. I was a nervous wreck if he deviated even slightly from the pediatrician’s guidelines. I twisted myself into knots trying to make him fit some arbitrary mold of what a “normal” child should be.

I tossed out the Baby Einstein DVDs my mom had scored for me at a yard sale and stocked up on only the most appropriate toys. I sang and talked to him until I felt like a lunatic. I dutifully laid him back in his bare crib after late-night feedings, only to wake him up and endure hours of crying. I forced rice cereal and homemade baby food down his throat, crying myself when he remained in the 10th percentile for weight.

I spent close to two years as a frazzled mess over things that really didn’t matter. Guess what? Oliver grew up just fine, despite not adhering to the pediatrician’s straight-and-narrow path. I was stressing out for no reason.

Finding My Confidence

By the time my daughter, Lily, came along, I was starting to feel a bit more confident in my parenting. I wasn’t relying on the pediatrician for every answer anymore. I had learned that even if I deviated from the rules, my kids would survive. I allowed for some trial and error with her. When she turned her nose up at baby food, I supplemented with bottles until she was ready to self-feed. When she didn’t follow a “normal” nap schedule, we adapted until we discovered what suited her best.

Lily flourished despite my lack of adherence to the pediatrician’s advice. She was healthy, happy, and thriving in ways Oliver never did when I tried to force him into a mold that didn’t fit. I realized that their different approaches to eating and sleeping were perfectly okay; we just needed to find our rhythm as a family.

Embracing Flexibility

Now, with my third child, Max, I’ve shifted from treating the pediatrician’s advice as gospel to viewing it as a set of strong suggestions. I understand why he prefers a strict model for what a healthy childhood should look like, but I also know my kids will never fit neatly into every box. Our family is unique, and our needs vary.

I steer clear of anything that could harm my children. I make informed decisions and weigh the risks and benefits carefully. Sure, I’ve made choices that go against the pediatrician’s recommendations—like co-sleeping with Max and allowing for a bit too much screen time. But I also shine in areas he approves of, like keeping processed foods at bay and enforcing early bedtimes.

For my sanity, I choose to keep certain information to myself because I’d rather not engage in a debate with the doctor. I understand his intentions, but I know what works best for my family. As long as my kids are healthy and flourishing, a little white lie at the doctor’s office isn’t going to hurt anyone.

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Conclusion

In conclusion, my parenting journey has taught me to trust my instincts over rigid guidelines. My kids are thriving, and that’s what matters most.