When I was expecting my first little one, I thought I was adequately prepared. I stocked up on all the must-haves: burp cloths, a cozy bassinet, a baby swing, a mountain of creams and lotions, and an endless supply of diapers and those ridiculously adorable tiny outfits. I had enough stuff to fill a garage and received even more as gifts. I took a birthing class and devoured books on prenatal and newborn care. I was more than ready—so I thought.
Then my baby arrived, wailing at the top of his lungs, and wow, was I in for a surprise. I assumed all I needed to do was feed him, change him, and put him to bed at reasonable intervals. What was I thinking? It wasn’t just the sheer volume of work or the exhaustion that caught me off guard; it was the realization that even basic baby care tasks weren’t as straightforward as everyone had led me to believe. It turns out that most babies don’t adhere to the “perfect” baby standard that fills parenting books and TV shows.
Through my experiences, I’ve learned that babies are not merely adorable squishy beings; they are tiny individuals with their own personalities, quirks, and preferences from day one. The best approach is to embrace who they are and understand that concepts like routine and independence may develop later than expected. Here are some truths about parenting infants that I wish someone had shared with me before diving headfirst into the chaotic world of parenthood:
1. Crying Without a Cause
Sometimes, babies just cry—loudly and without explanation. My newborns were colicky, fussing for hours each evening unless we were in motion or nursing. I constantly searched for reasons behind their cries: was it something I ate? Gas? Too hot or cold? Eventually, I learned that lots of babies cry, especially in the evenings, and it’s usually normal. Good news is, it often passes on its own!
2. Cars Aren’t Always Cozy
I believed that the car was a soothing ride that would lull babies to sleep. Not with mine. Both of my kids screamed their heads off in the car. Only one would occasionally drift off. They wanted out, and sitting next to them helped, but barely. To them, the car felt more like a prison than a peaceful cradle.
3. Constant Feeding
The books told me my baby would nurse every two to three hours, which sounded manageable. But, oh no! It often turned into every hour or even every half-hour during the evening. Cluster feeding became my new normal, but hey, they gained weight like champs!
4. Some Babies Refuse to be Put Down
We had a cute baby swing that played a mildly annoying tune and spun adorable fish, but my son wouldn’t have any of it. He demanded to be held at all times. Thankfully, he eventually warmed up to the swing—just when he had outgrown it. Typical.
5. Short Naps Are the Norm
I had a co-sleeper and tried to sneak my baby into it after he fell asleep. But no, his eyes would pop open the moment I laid him down. I figured out that the only way he’d sleep was on me—and even then, those naps lasted a mere 30 minutes for what felt like an eternity.
6. The ‘Drowsy but Awake’ Method? Nope.
In my sleep-deprived desperation, I tried to put my baby down “drowsy but awake,” as recommended by every sleep expert. All I got was a wailing infant. Apparently, this works for some babies, but not mine.
7. Forget About Schedules
As someone who thrives on schedules, I assumed my newborn would follow suit. Nope! It was a chaotic cycle of eat, sleep, wake, repeat, with no semblance of a routine for months. Just when I thought I found a pattern, it would shift overnight.
8. Babies Experience Pain and Love
I refuse to believe those early smiles are just gas. Babies can feel love the moment they see you, and they definitely feel pain. Research supports this! Whenever my babies cried in discomfort, I felt it too, almost as if it were happening to me.
One night, as my second baby fussed endlessly, I realized that this was how parents bond with their little ones. In their relentless neediness, they’re communicating something profound: “I’m here, and your life is forever changed.”
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In summary, parenting a baby is full of unexpected challenges and realities that no one quite prepares you for. Embracing the chaos, accepting that every baby is different, and understanding that love and pain coexist are crucial lessons on this wild journey of parenthood.