When I was a newlywed in my early twenties, childless and full of dreams, I envisioned a picturesque life of parenting. I imagined my future kids and I strolling through farmers markets, delighting in fresh produce and bonding over the perfect head of broccoli. But then reality hit.
The first time we took our son to a farmers market, he snatched a broccoli floret from a vendor, tasted it, and promptly announced, “Nasty!” My idyllic visions of parenting were shattered in that moment. Now, instead of chasing fantasies, I’ve created a list of things I will absolutely not do for my kids.
1. Pay full price for name-brand clothes.
Honestly, I couldn’t care less about brand names. I refuse to shell out top dollar just because an item has a logo on it. My parents had a similar philosophy, and I turned out fine—no resentment here! It helped me cultivate a free-spirited mindset that resists conformity. If I spot a brand-name item on clearance or at a discount store for a reasonable price, I might buy it if it’s necessary (I’m not heartless).
2. Join the PTA.
Shoutout to all the amazing PTA moms out there! Your dedication is commendable, but I simply can’t juggle work, writing, motherhood, and then commit to planning fundraisers. I will happily attend your events and indulge in the cookie dough, but committees? Not happening.
3. Let my kids do every activity under the sun.
No way am I turning my schedule into a chaotic mess of activities every night. If we don’t have at least two free evenings, I become a frazzled wreck, searching for lost jerseys and cutting up vegetables. Therefore, I limit my kids to one activity at a time. I want them to learn prioritization early on, developing habits that will serve them well into their teenage years. Plus, let’s be real—my kids aren’t destined to be the next superstar athlete, dancer, or Nobel laureate. Traveling teams and competitions? Totally unnecessary.
4. Expect my kids to earn straight A’s.
Having once taught high school English, I’ve seen students break down over a B. The pressure to achieve perfection often comes from their parents, which can be damaging. I expect my kids to give their best effort, and if that results in less-than-stellar grades, so be it. Academic performance is not the sole indicator of success.
5. Insist my kids go to college.
My husband and I have a combined four college degrees, but I don’t believe higher education is the only path for everyone. My kids know that some careers require a degree, and they understand what college is all about. However, when the time comes for them to make decisions after high school, I want them to feel empowered to choose the right path for themselves—whether it’s work, college, or traveling—based on their aspirations, not mine.
Every parent has the responsibility to provide for their children and make choices that may go against societal norms. It’s okay to have a list of things you won’t do for your kids; it sets boundaries in the unpredictable realm of parenting and helps prevent them from becoming spoiled brats. As they grow, this list can evolve. Parents, don’t hesitate to set your ground rules—your kids will survive if they wear Target shoes or miss out on that traveling soccer team.
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Summary: Parenting is full of challenges and choices, and establishing boundaries can help foster independence and resilience in children. This article discusses five things that Sarah Thompson refuses to do for her kids, including paying full price for brand-name clothes, joining the PTA, over-scheduling activities, expecting straight A’s, and insisting on college.