What It Feels Like to Be Relentlessly Bullied

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By: Emma Whitfield

Updated: June 7, 2023

I stood at the edge of the cornfield, feeling a sudden rush as hands lifted me and tossed me into the mud. I crashed face-first into the gritty soil of Pennsylvania, dirt flying everywhere. I coughed out clumps of earth as they tossed my hat and mittens aside, my coat left behind. Later, I was so soaked in mud that the nurse insisted I change into school-issued pants. Bullying means you never know when the next blow will hit.

As I walked to the coat closet, I remembered how my sister had lent me her favorite red coat with the soft fur lining—a treasure I promised to protect. A few desks away, I spotted Anna snatching it off the hanger. I watched helplessly as it fell to the floor, only to be stomped on by her boots, leaving grimy marks on the fluffy fabric. I told the teacher, but her indifference stung more than the mud. I scrubbed the footprints away, fearing my sister’s wrath. I had bragged about the coat, and the bullies had struck. Bullying means you can’t enjoy the things you love.

Friendless and isolated, I had no one to confide in or sit with during lunch. Without friends, I also missed out on the little things, like when to start shaving my legs. Wearing skirts, I was mocked by Sarah and some boys, who called me a gorilla. That night, I shaved but ended up at school with a massive cut down my shin. Their laughter echoed in my ears. Bullying means you can’t catch a break.

One summer, I had a gray shirt featuring an English Setter, a breed I adored because we owned one. I loved that shirt, but I also knew someone would call me a dog if I wore it. Bullying means you start to censor your own choices.

That same summer, I played at a friend’s house. Her brother, however, had a knack for tormenting me. One day, he began hitting me between the legs with a stick. As I defended myself, he taunted, “Why are you touching yourself?” Bullying means that even when you try to protect yourself, you become the target.

High school was no different. Some girls concocted an elaborate scheme suggesting I was dating my crush. For two days, I thought I had a boyfriend, but he never spoke to me. When they feigned concern, they sent a boy from his table to confront me. “Ryan isn’t dating you, Emma. He never was,” he announced, laughter erupting from the girls. They later paired me with the least popular kid in class, pushing me to kiss him. I didn’t like him, but felt compelled to comply. Their laughter made it clear: bullying means you can’t trust anyone.

One morning, while chatting with a friend, Allen suddenly shouted, “Shut up, Emma, you’re ugly!” There are few things more painful for a 14-year-old girl. Bullying means you live in a constant state of self-doubt.

Another day, during Latin class, Michael wrote “LEZZIE” on my paper. I slapped him, and we both ended up in the principal’s office. Bullying means you can’t defend yourself without facing consequences.

This was all part of a calculated campaign against me. Spitballs sailed through the classroom—so typical, yet so brutal! I was called ugly repeatedly, with one boy and his friends targeting me specifically. Bullying means feeling outnumbered.

One friend informed me that another was upset with me and no longer wanted to be friends. For days, I worried I had lost someone special. Finally, I received a letter in her unique high school handwriting, which didn’t acknowledge the past few days at all. Bullying means you never know when your friendships will crumble.

I faced relentless bullying from age seven through high school. The only person who stood up for me was Clara Brooks, who risked her own standing to do so. I’ve never forgotten her bravery, especially in contrast to the teachers who told me to stop complaining. Clara showed me that bullying means you don’t always have to remain silent.

We need more people like Clara in the world. We need voices that say, “That’s wrong, that’s unfair, stop it now.” Change starts with us; we can be those voices. Because more than anything, bullying means you don’t have to suffer in silence.

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Summary

Bullying can leave deep emotional scars, manifesting in various forms throughout childhood and adolescence. It creates a cycle of fear, self-doubt, and isolation, impacting every aspect of life. However, it also highlights the importance of allies who dare to speak out against injustice. Communities need more individuals willing to challenge bullying and support those affected, turning silence into action.