Striking the Right Chord in Parenting: The Discipline Dilemma

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I’ve been labeled as both a stringent and overly lenient mom, depending on who you ask. Strangers have shot me disapproving looks when my kids are having a meltdown in public, while I’ve also been the target of side-eyes from fellow parents when I let my kids indulge in soda on special occasions. Sacrificing sugary treats during a friend’s birthday party? Yep, I’ve done it, and no, I don’t care about the judgment.

When it comes to my oldest son, any misbehavior leads to an immediate confiscation of his cell phone—an instant catastrophe for both of us. This is the daily struggle for parents: how do we find that elusive balance in disciplining our children? One day, I might say “yes” to something I would have firmly declined the day before. Parenting is fluid, and what works one day might not work the next.

People around me—friends, family, and even random strangers—often have their own opinions about how I should discipline my kids. But here’s the thing: they aren’t privy to the nuances of my family dynamics or the context of the moment. When someone gives me a dirty look or tells me I’m too tough on my kids, they have no clue about the backstory leading to my decisions.

Every parent is on the quest for a balance that might not even exist. After 13 years of parenting, I still grapple with this. We don’t want our children to fear us; we want them to trust us enough to share their lives while also not raising a bunch of entitled brats. It’s a fine line, and honestly, sometimes we feel we’ve been too harsh or not strict enough. Finding that sweet spot is the toughest challenge.

Kids are likely to think we’re unfair at times, but I consider that a good sign. After all, it prepares them for the real world far better than being overly permissive. When strangers witness a tantrum in public, they might assume I’m a pushover, but I’m learning that discipline is about instinct. Some days I feel like Mary Poppins, and other days, well, let’s just say Cruella de Vil might be a better fit.

So, the bottom line for me is this: I know the kind of parent I aspire to be, and it can look different from one day to the next. Ultimately, I’m in charge—not my kids, not random onlookers, and certainly not other family members. If my choices resonate with me, then that’s my sweet spot, no further explanation required.

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In summary, finding the right approach to disciplining our kids is a complex and personal journey. We strive to maintain balance while facing external judgments, all the while prioritizing our unique family dynamics and instincts.