Ah, the joys of childhood stomach bugs—an experience that brings no silver lining. Kids tend to get sick, and it’s just part of their charm. As parents, we’re meant to be the comforting presence, but let’s be real: there are some very human feelings lurking beneath that sympathy. Who, after all, relishes the idea of a night spent catching vomit in their hands?
It’s our parental duty to embrace that messy child covered in throw-up and serenade them, all while trying not to retch ourselves. To navigate through these trying times, I’ve outlined the five stages of parenting a vomiting kid. Much like the five stages of grief, this guide reminds you that you’re not alone in your plight.
1. Denial
“He probably just had too many snacks.” This is my immediate thought every single time my daughter starts to vomit. Surely, she’s gotten it out of her system, and we’re done. DONE. This means I won’t catch whatever bug she has in a few days because there’s nothing to worry about. It’s like spit-up, only far worse, especially when I can see the spaghetti she had for dinner. But hey, no problem here!
2. Anger/Revulsion
You’re not mad at your poor little one, who can’t seem to stop hurling; your frustration is directed at life itself. Why now? (Because, of course, you had plans—maybe just folding laundry, but still!) This stage also brings forth the undeniable feeling of revulsion the moment you catch a whiff of that foul odor emanating from your beloved child. It’s a constant theme here. Gross.
3. Bargaining
“If I give her a bath, maybe the vomiting will stop.” Surely, clean insides want a clean exterior, right? Or perhaps if I just wish really hard to the Mom Fairy or pray to the porcelain god… I promise I’ll never yell at my child again. I’ll sing to soothe her tummy because singing calms stomachs, I’m convinced. I’ll scrub the house until it shines if it means I don’t have to witness another pile of regurgitated food. We’re done with this, right? Right?!
4. Depression/Fear/Indecision
Is this going to be our life forever? This poor kid will never stop throwing up, and the smell will linger with me until my dying days. You start to panic, worrying if there’s something seriously wrong. Should I take her to the doctor or just wait it out? Is this really just a stomach bug? What if I ignore it and something terrible happens? Is vomit supposed to smell this bad?
5. Acceptance
Often, if you’re fortunate, things will improve after a while. After catching the last remnants in your 500th clean shirt, your little one will likely be worn out and ready to sleep. In the morning, you’ll think about whether you need a doctor, but for now, you can clean the floor, tackle the laundry (and do it again), take a shower, and maybe even enjoy a drink while you still can because you might end up feeling sick yourself in a few hours.
I haven’t faced any serious illnesses in my short time as a parent. The worst has been dealing with a vomiting toddler who doesn’t quite grasp what’s happening or why you’re holding their head over the toilet. There are certainly worse scenarios out there, and while there will be tougher times ahead, during those dark, vomit-filled midnight hours, I’ll remember these stages and keep searching for light at the end of the revolting tunnel.
For more insights into parenting and other related topics, consider checking out this page here or learn more about home insemination at Make a Mom and refer to the excellent resources available at UCSF.