If Moms Created Slang: A Parenting Perspective

As a mom in my 30s, I have absolutely no authority over what constitutes cool slang. I’ll confess to having Googled certain phrases just to figure out why everyone keeps saying “Bye, Felicia!” I know that relying on Urban Dictionary to stay in the loop is not exactly on fleek, and I probably shouldn’t even attempt to use these terms correctly.

However, I do have some expertise when it comes to the language of parenting. I can fluently converse in toddler-ese and can discern the difference between a baby saying, “Mama!” and “Ma? Ma?” Given all that moms contribute to society, I think we deserve to have a say in what the latest slang really means.

1. On Fleek

Real version: Used to describe something that’s perfect, e.g., “This outfit is on fleek.”
Mom version: Refers to a great find from a flea market, e.g., “I snagged this outfit on fleek for just $10!” Talk about a win!

2. Netflix and Chill

Real version: A euphemism for intimacy (which may or may not involve actual Netflix).
Mom version: A cozy binge-watch session followed by an early bedtime, e.g., “Settling in for a night with House of Cards and lights out by 8:30 p.m.”

3. Bae

Real version: An abbreviation for “before anything else,” usually a term of endearment.
Mom version: Just a playful word for bagel, e.g., “I could really use a bae with some cream cheese.”

4. Squad

Real version: Your close group of friends.
Mom version: Your kids, e.g., “Sorry for the delay. It took forever to wrangle the squad!”
Bonus: Squad Goals: Achieving a parenting milestone successfully, e.g., “The kids are playing nicely together! #SquadGoals!”

5. Stay Woke

Real version: Being aware of social issues and injustices.
Mom version: Just trying to stay alert when you’re running on fumes, e.g., “The baby kept me up all night. I’m just trying to stay woke.”

By the time this post goes live, these terms may already be outdated. I eagerly await the opportunity to mom-ify the next set of slang. Until then, bye, Felicia! (And by that, I mean goodbye to anyone named Felicia. Have a great day!)

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Summary: This light-hearted article explores how moms might reinterpret current slang terms, infusing them with parenting humor. From “on fleek” to “squad,” these phrases take on new meanings in the world of motherhood. Moms are experts in their own right, and their unique take on language deserves recognition.