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12 Comments to Avoid When Speaking to Parents of a Child with Autism
When a parent shares, “My child has autism,” it often leads to awkward silence or fumbling responses. While most people know that a high-five isn’t appropriate, they might struggle to find the right words, turning their gaze away or making unfortunate social missteps. It’s understandable—navigating conversations around autism can be tricky. So, let’s help you out! Here’s a list of things you should steer clear of saying when chatting with a parent of a child on the spectrum.
- “But he looks so…normal?!”
Thanks for your observation, but “normal” is subjective. My child is beautiful just the way he is. - “Are you sure he’s autistic?”
Absolutely. While he might not fit certain stereotypes, numerous specialists have confirmed his diagnosis. - “What do you think caused it?”
That’s a mystery we all ponder. We’ve questioned everything from our diet to genetics, but ultimately, what matters is how we support our child now. - “Ohhhh…what can he do?”
I mentioned autism, not a talent show. Not every child with autism has a unique skill, and that’s okay. - “Maybe if you just provided him with some discipline.”
Yikes! Autism isn’t a result of poor parenting. What you might see as a tantrum is often a sensory meltdown, and it’s painful to witness. - “I try to talk to him, but he always ignores me. Maybe you should get his hearing checked.”
He hears you just fine. Just because he doesn’t respond doesn’t mean he isn’t trying to communicate. - “Maybe he just likes to be alone.”
He might seem to prefer solitude, but it’s not out of choice. Navigating social interactions can be overwhelming for him. - “He’s not that bad.”
We’re not comparing him to a “bad” standard. Autism is simply a part of who he is, and different doesn’t mean defective. - “He’ll eat when he’s hungry.”
Not necessarily. Would you experiment with your child’s hunger levels? Children with autism often have specific sensory needs regarding food. - “You are so [insert amazing, brave, strong, loving, etc. here].”
Honestly, it’s my child who demonstrates strength every day. - “I’m sorry.”
No need for sympathy. Most days, I’m just fine! - “Will he always be like that?”
Yes, he will always have autism, but that doesn’t mean he won’t grow, learn, and find joy. Embrace that!
Discussing autism can be challenging, but understanding and empathy can go a long way. For more insights, check out this informative post on home insemination kits for a deeper understanding of parenting journeys.
In conclusion, it’s crucial to approach conversations about autism with sensitivity and awareness. If you want to dive deeper into this subject, resources like Progyny can provide excellent information on related parenting topics.