Taking little ones to the beach can be quite the challenge, and the unsolicited advice from strangers can make it even tougher. Here are some snappy comebacks for the next time someone feels the need to comment on your beach outing with your baby:
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“Wow, he looks SO overheated!”
Yes, it’s shocking—Florida sun, rosy cheeks, and my baby is having a blast! Honestly, it was hotter when he was in my belly. Thanks for your concern, though. Bye now! -
“Did you know babies can burn in the shade?”
Oh really? I had no idea! I mean, it’s not like you’ve been soaking up the sun since the disco era or anything. I’ll just go ahead and explain my parenting choices to you, oh wise stranger. Or better yet, never mind. -
“Is he wearing sunscreen?”
Oh, you caught me! I definitely didn’t just slather him with baby oil. After all, who needs sunscreen when you can have a base tan? Kidding—of course he’s protected! -
“Looks like he needs some water.”
Good eye! That’s why I’ve got his sippy cup filled with ice water right beside him. And this Solo cup in my hand? It’s filled with vodka that I plan to enjoy as soon as you walk away! -
“Did you know he’s in the sun?”
Oh, you mean my baby, who is slathered in SPF and decked out in a long-sleeved rash guard? How shocking! But yes, we’re here at the beach for a reason—to enjoy that glorious vitamin D. -
“I feel so sorry for him. He looks so hot.”
Funny, because he’s actually giggling with his siblings and munching on a sandwich under our umbrella. But hey, please keep feeling sorry for him. You can hold him while I take a swim, thanks! -
“He’s not wearing a hat?”
Oh, that hat that every baby despises? Yes, I’m aware. But don’t worry, his sunscreen-covered head is just fine—just like every other day we go out. Not a catastrophe, I promise. -
“He’s too YOUNG for the beach.”
Thanks for your input, elderly beachgoer with skin like a leather handbag. He’s rosy because it’s 82 degrees outside, but he’s perfectly fine. He’s covered in 200 SPF sunscreen, so relax!
So the next time you feel the urge to share your thoughts with a young mom at the beach, maybe just offer to watch her kids instead, so she can reapply sunscreen without a fuss.
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In summary, while parenting at the beach comes with its challenges, a little humor and some witty comebacks can help navigate the unsolicited advice.