Kidlash: When the Highs and Lows of Parenting Drive You Mad

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Last week, I hit a parenting milestone when my toddler finally slept through the night for three consecutive nights. Fueled by this newfound energy, I picked up my 6- and 4-year-olds from school and declared, in my best Oprah-like voice, “We’re going to the beeeeeeach!” (You get a beach trip! And you get a beach trip! Everyone gets a beach trip!) The following day, I took my middle child, who craved some extra TLC, on a delightful tour of a sticker factory. I even managed to whip up a meal for a preschool work shift, lend support to one of my best friends, and attend a world premiere at the local ballet. “Look at us!” I joyfully posted on social media, “20 months after our third child’s arrival, we’re finally living life again!”

But then we returned home to a different scene: our baby was auditioning for the role of “I-can’t-breathe-through-my-nose.” That night, I slept in 20-minute increments, waking up feeling like I had pulled an all-nighter at a wild spring break party.

The next morning, I spent a solid chunk of time on the phone trying to sort out our property taxes. Just as I hung up, my 4-year-old climbed onto my bed, looked me dead in the eye, and said, “Read and cuddle now, Mama,” while tossing my beige decorative pillows into a puddle of black paint.

So that’s why he had been so quiet during my call, I thought, as tears unexpectedly filled my eyes. I rushed to the bathroom to let them flow, all while hearing, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry!” echoing behind me. Lack of sleep definitely contributed to my emotional meltdown, but there was also the stress of a looming $1,000 penalty at a time when every penny counted. Guilt washed over me too; I wanted nothing more than to cuddle with my little boy and soak up his smiles, but a million to-do’s were nagging at me.

What hit hardest, though, was the jarring contrast between feeling like Supermom one moment and crashing back to earth the next. It felt like serious kidlash—like whiplash, really. One moment, I’m soaring high, and in the blink of an eye, I’m grounded.

Notable Highs and Lows of Parenting

Through the years, I’ve jotted down a few notable highs and lows of parenting:

• High: The baby stood up for the first time at breakfast, prompting cheers from her older siblings.
• Low: My son, upset that I had to leave to pick up his sick sister, looked me in the eye and declared, “You are trash.” Ouch.
• High: My husband took the kids to the playground, allowing me to enjoy a long, luxurious soak in the tub. My oldest even joined me, giving me “spa treatments” that included rolling a cup over my head.
• Low: At bedtime, she wouldn’t stop talking, waking her siblings with random facts and worries, leaving me exasperated and desperate to catch my show.
• High: My son was sick but full of cuddles.
• Low: I was secretly pleased he couldn’t move—selfish, I know.
• High: I finished paying the bills with enough time to enjoy a sweet song from my son about “five little bunnies in a bakery shop.”
• Low: When he started hurling insults at his sister later that day, my frustration boiled over, and I lost my cool.

These extreme swings of emotion are exhausting. But the real gut-punch comes from the monthly and yearly fluctuations. Just when I felt we were emerging from the fog of postpartum life, a nasty cold virus swooped in, dragging me back into chaos, the promise of normalcy feeling like a distant dream.

Throughout this rollercoaster, I’ve managed to cling to one small victory: after years of effort, my husband finally learned that decorative pillows are not for head propping and must never see a washing machine. “So, they’re like the fancy snacks you put out for guests that I’m not allowed to touch?” he quips, but he still places my beloved “ornamentals” safely each night before bed.

I thought those pillows would survive the chaos, that a piece of me could emerge intact. When they didn’t, I cried. But then I wrapped my arms around my son and lost myself in the magic of a good book.

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In summary, the ups and downs of parenting can feel like a wild emotional ride, filled with unexpected twists that often leave us overwhelmed yet grateful for the little moments that make it all worthwhile.