In my quest for a little peace and quiet, I’ve become quite the strategist. Whether it’s volunteering for chores or cleverly negotiating my way out of responsibilities, I’ve done it all to snag a few precious moments to myself. Here’s a list of some of my more inventive tactics to seize that elusive “me time”:
- Request an Extra Day Post-Delivery: I once asked my doctor for an additional day in the hospital after giving birth—because let’s be honest, home is never going to be this peaceful again.
- Stick Around After Jury Duty: I’ve asked to remain at the courthouse even after being dismissed. Pro tip: swapping is a no-go.
- Book Unnecessary Dentist Appointments: I’ve scheduled cleanings I didn’t need just for the 30-minute escape they provide.
- Schedule Kids’ Dentist Visits: I’ve scheduled my kids’ cleanings purely to get a breather while they’re occupied.
- Volunteer for Phone Surveys: I’ll sign up for a survey call just to have a few moments of “quiet” in another room.
- Grocery Store Runs for Basic Items: I’ve gone out just to buy detergent, knowing no one at home would even notice if we were out.
- Delay Picking Up the Cat: I’ve “forgotten” to pick up the cat from the vet until right before bath time.
- Attend HOA Meetings: Honestly, these meetings are such snooze-fests that they double as a nap opportunity.
- Go to Confession: I’ve used this as an excuse to swing by Taco Bell for some crunchy tacos in the parking lot.
- Schedule Parent-Teacher Conferences: Just to sit quietly with someone who isn’t constantly touching me.
- Chit-Chat with Solicitors: I make small talk until they eventually leave me alone.
- Fake Sleep in the Morning: I’ll pretend to be asleep until my partner gets up and takes care of the baby—10 minutes of lying in bed feels like a mini-vacation.
- Plan Accountant Appointments in Off-Season: I’ll book tax prep meetings in August, and then again in March, just to sit quietly.
- Enroll Kids in Gymnastics: Non-parent required classes mean I can zone out on the sidelines.
- Fold Laundry in Another Room: I announce I’m off to fold laundry, then sneak into the bathroom with a stash of cookies hidden in the laundry pile.
- Let Kids Use the iPad: I give them an hour of screen time so I can savor a warm cup of coffee without the usual interruptions.
- Drop Kids at Rec Center Child Care: For just $3, I get to sip coffee while watching others work out.
- Hire a Babysitter for Errands: I’ve hired a sitter to run errands that don’t exist, just to indulge in more tacos.
- Play Hide-and-Seek: I’ll hide while my kids are hiding, extending the game and giving me some quiet time.
- Long Bath Times: I let my kids enjoy bath time for up to 45 minutes. If they’re happy, I’m happy, too.
In this hectic world, carving out time for myself feels like a luxury. I want to step away from the relentless demands of motherhood, even if only for a moment. Yes, I know I should cherish this time because it flies by, but so does the grocery store bagger who zooms through checkout like they’re racing for a medal.
For more tips on how to balance life and motherhood, check out this article on home insemination and learn about the journey of starting a family with resources from March of Dimes and Make a Mom.
Summary
In this humorous and relatable piece, Jamie Roberts shares 20 clever strategies she has employed to carve out precious time for herself amidst the chaos of motherhood. From scheduling unnecessary appointments to creatively avoiding responsibilities, these tactics are sure to resonate with busy parents everywhere.