When my friend Lily became a mom first among our tight-knit group, everything changed. After welcoming her adorable baby boy in June 2014, I made a trip to the hospital, brought her dinner once, and popped by occasionally to cuddle that little bundle and catch up. Mostly, I vented about my draining job while she nodded along, occasionally hinting at her own struggles with motherhood, like weeping from sheer exhaustion while nursing at 3 AM.
I felt a twinge of guilt—she was my friend, and I truly cared. But I couldn’t relate to her new reality. I’d leave her house, buckle just my seatbelt, and drive off wherever I pleased, free as a bird because I was childless. One day, she mentioned her new “Mom Friends” from a hospital support group. She said it as if it were one word: “Mom-Friend.” A flicker of jealousy sparked in me. What made them so special? What did they have that I lacked?
Well, babies. They had babies. When I asked her how they became such a tight-knit tribe overnight, she offered a vague explanation: “Ain’t nothin’ like a Mom-Friend.”
Fast forward to July 2015, when I welcomed my own little girl into the world after a whirlwind, unmedicated labor. The first week at home was a beautiful, chaotic haze of sleepless nights and tears—tears over breastfeeding struggles, feeling like a bloated Jabba the Hutt, and even dropping my keys. My first solo car trip with my daughter was to the same hospital for that parenting class Lily had attended a year earlier. She screamed the whole way. I sobbed too.
Arriving 20 minutes late, I plopped down on the classroom floor, praying she wouldn’t get hungry before I could find a private place to nurse. Of course, she did, and I fumbled with my nursing cover (the one I just had to have) and a nipple shield, feeling sweaty and on the verge of tears. I braced myself for the judgmental stares. But instead, I spotted another mom across the room, nonchalantly nursing her baby. That’s when I realized—I was among my people. I was safe here.
As the weeks rolled on, those moms became my support system. We met for coffee before class, discussing everything from our babies’ eating habits to our own postpartum bodies. We laughed and cried together, sharing the highs and lows of new motherhood. We commiserated over the horror of the first post-labor bowel movement and braved the anxiety of intimacy again. Texting and calling at all hours, we bonded over the shared chaos of it all.
As our little ones grew, many of my Mom-Friends returned to work, so our meet-ups became less frequent. But with each developmental milestone, we were back to midnight texts and late-night phone calls, planning birthday parties and discussing when to expand our families. A few weeks ago, we gathered without the kids, and it struck me that my “Mom-Friends” had transformed into just…friends.
Together, we navigated those challenging early days of motherhood, donning our favorite black leggings that concealed our wobbly tummies and matched our sleep-deprived faces. We held our newborns while clutching lattes, some of us leaking breast milk and others lamenting the fact that they weren’t. Now, as we find our groove in this new normal, I’m filled with gratitude for those women who supported me through the best and worst of it all. Ain’t nothing like a Mom-Friend.
I hope these friendships last a lifetime, that we watch our kids grow while reminiscing about the days of breast pads and hair loss. If not, I’ll still cherish the memories and the incredible women who stood by me when it felt like nothing would ever feel right again.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the transformative experience of motherhood through the lens of friendship. The author shares her journey from being a childless friend to a new mom, highlighting the importance of connecting with other mothers during the challenging early days of parenting. The bond formed through shared experiences proves invaluable, as the author appreciates how these friendships evolve and endure over time.