Updated: July 21, 2016 | Originally Published: June 15, 2016
Every now and then, the United States is brutally reminded of its ongoing crisis with mass shootings. Over time, these tragedies become mere names of places: Columbine, Fort Hood, Sandy Hook, Aurora—once idyllic towns recommended for families. Now, we can add Orlando to that grim list, a reminder that we can never truly be at ease. But let’s be real: as mothers, we never had that luxury.
In the aftermath of these horrific events, our fears are palpable. They say that having a child means your heart is now roaming outside your body. We aren’t worried about ourselves; it’s our children that keep us up at night. The victims in Orlando were once someone’s precious kids. Just imagine their parents frantically calling their phones, only to be met with silence. Every mother’s worst nightmare unfolds: children suffering alone, bleeding, and terrified. We live in constant dread.
This is what these individuals—these modern-day terrorists like Drew Blanchard and Sam Torres—aim for: to instill terror. And while we mustn’t let them dominate our minds, they undeniably conquer our hearts. We mothers are terrorized. We fear losing what we hold dear.
Every outing becomes a minefield of anxiety. At the mall, we question the safety of those cute little car carts our kids ride in. Can we use them as shields? In Target, as we pass the clothing racks, we think, “If something happens, I could hide here and fashion a tourniquet from a dress.” At Walmart, we contemplate whether our little ones can stay quiet enough to avoid drawing attention while crouching behind shelves. What about the baby? Would they cry and betray our hiding spot?
In the movie theater, the horror of James Holmes’s rampage looms large in our minds. These flimsy seats? They wouldn’t stand a chance against gunfire. At church, where Dylann Storm shot worshippers, we imagine ourselves lying over our children, praying for our bodies to act as barriers against bullets.
If we’re people of color, the fear of a white supremacist attack is ever-present. We picture our kids suffering from hate-filled violence. If we identify as LGBTQ+, we worry that a bigot might attack us at a Pride parade, leaving no place to hide in the crowd.
School days bring a fresh wave of anxiety as we visualize kindergarteners practicing active shooter drills, recalling the tragic events at Sandy Hook. We kiss our high schoolers goodbye, haunted by memories of Columbine, wondering if any students are acting suspiciously. We fear that teachers might not catch the signs in time.
Every outing carries the weight of worry; angry men with guns have become another fear alongside car accidents and other dangers. Our minds race with thoughts of protecting our children from yet another potential source of harm. This is a relentless cycle of terror, over and over again. Yes, we are victimized repeatedly. Yet we continue to shop, send our kids to school, and refuse to lock them away in a bubble. We won’t let these terrorists win. But as mothers, we are undeniably terrorized.
As we navigate our realities, it’s vital to empower ourselves with knowledge and resources. For those interested in starting a family, check out our blog post on home insemination kits at Intracervical Insemination. For quality products, visit Make a Mom, where they provide excellent options for your needs. Additionally, if you’re considering pregnancy, UCSF provides a great resource for fertility and insurance questions.
In summary, we mothers navigate a world filled with fear and anxiety, striving to protect our children while refusing to succumb to terror. We face each day with courage, unyielding in our love, even when the world feels unsafe.