20 Reasons Why Dieting Is a Total Struggle When You Have Kids

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Motherhood is full of unexpected lessons. One major revelation? After having kids, many moms find themselves sporting what’s affectionately known as a “mom bod.” This transformation includes curves, rolls, and a few battle scars, but hey, we also gain a whole lot of confidence from bringing life into the world!

But let’s be real: getting dressed can feel like trying to fit a marshmallow into a tiny suit. Shirts ride up, pants slide down, and suddenly, those new hips? Yeah, they’re a mystery. Our days revolve around chasing kids, tidying up, managing jobs, and keeping the family glue intact. And amidst all this chaos, dieting often gets overshadowed by distractions and temptations, making the pursuit of a slimmer figure feel like a full-time job.

So why do we even think about dieting? Well, I get it—I want to feel sexy too, or at least a shadow of my pre-mom self. But let’s face it: dieting with kids in tow is a Herculean task. Here’s why:

1. Kids are basically snack machines, munching all day long.
2. There’s only so many bananas or apples you can choke down, even if they’re the perfect on-the-go food.
3. Stress eating is a lifesaver when the chaos threatens to tip you over the edge.
4. Evening cocktails? Yeah, they help too.
5. Diet motivation tends to wane around mid-afternoon, coinciding with the kids getting off the school bus and the dreaded witching hour.
6. Your kid demands chicken nuggets for dinner, then refuses to touch them. Great, now we can’t waste food, right?
7. Let’s be honest: a salad will never fill you up like a bowl of carbs.
8. No matter what those trendy blogs say, kale smoothies are just not that delightful.
9. Muffin tops don’t seem so bad when you’re faced with the choice of takeout or wrestling with kids over broccoli.
10. Tomorrow is the perfect day to ignore that brownie guilt—after all, it’s just a treat, right?
11. Maxi dresses exist for a reason, folks!
12. Sure, those workout DVDs work, but they also come with a side of yelling from both the screen and your kids.
13. Running? Hah! More like jogging in place while chasing after toddlers.
14. Cauliflower cheese sauce? Sounds like a punishment.
15. Counting calories feels like math, and after homework, we all know math is the enemy.
16. Last I checked, you can’t be a MILF without a mom bod—hello, 18-hour support!
17. Mom hips double as a handy shelf for carrying kids around. Why mess with that?
18. At some point, every mom thinks, “I’d rather be chubby than eat this diet food.”
19. “Science” can’t make up its mind on what’s healthy—one week red wine is bad, the next it’s a weight-loss miracle. Make up your mind!
20. Contrary to popular belief, most moms don’t give a flying f*** about dieting and are perfectly content with themselves. Go figure.

Sure, some moms seem to diet with ease, and to them, I say: you’re amazing! But for the rest of us, wrestling with loose skin and self-esteem issues while juggling a hectic schedule? Let’s drop the diet stress. After all, who really cares about muffin tops or saggy bottoms? It’s a waste of energy. I’m putting down the diet app and grabbing a donut. Care to join me?

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In summary, dieting as a parent is a struggle filled with challenges, distractions, and sometimes, a complete lack of interest in conforming to societal pressures. Embrace your mom bod and the journey of motherhood. Enjoy life, and don’t forget to indulge every once in a while.