Updated: June 20, 2016
Originally Published: June 20, 2016
In life, just like in sports, I live by one simple guideline: Don’t be a jerk. As adults, we have a responsibility to be decent human beings, and as parents, it’s our job to make sure our kids are decent too.
I’ve never worn rose-colored glasses when it comes to my own children. Perhaps it’s because I’m raising two rambunctious kids who could easily be described as “challenged in the impulse-control department.” I’ve probably uttered, “Oh no, what did my kid do this time?” a trillion times over the last decade. Yet, despite their goofy and hyper antics, they’re not unkind. While they aren’t perfect, I realize that either of them could find themselves in a situation where being mean might seem like a way to gain popularity. It’s my responsibility to intervene and ensure any jerk-like behavior is addressed swiftly. I expect kindness from them, and it’s up to me to ensure they practice it—not just when I’m around.
However, many parents seem to be blissfully unaware of their child’s behavior, living in a bubble of denial. They may think, “My child would never act that way,” instead of investigating the truth. Some parents are oblivious to what their kids are posting on friends’ social media feeds. They see their child as popular and ignore the signs that their popularity might stem from exclusion or social dominance.
In today’s world, it’s crucial to remove those blinders and actively engage in your role as a parent. Here are a few practical steps:
- Follow Them on Social Media: Yes, it may not be the trendiest move, but it’s better than finding out your child is being a bully because you didn’t check their accounts. Monitor their texts, Snaps, and Instagram posts.
- Observe Peer Interactions: Kids often show their true colors in social settings. It’s one thing to engage in friendly banter, but it’s entirely different to threaten someone or join in on bullying. Pay attention; their body language often reveals if someone is being mistreated.
- Talk to Their Teachers and Counselors: Don’t expect to see “he’s a jerk” on report cards. Instead, ask educators what they notice about your child’s interactions.
- Connect with Other Parents: I have a pact with several friends that if they notice my kid misbehaving, they’ll let me know, and I’ll do the same. It’s never a fun chat, but being informed leads to better outcomes.
- Reach Out if Problems Arise: If you discover your child has bullied someone, don’t assume no news means everything’s fine. Follow up with the other child’s family. Your kid may need extra guidance to understand their behavior.
Whatever you do, ditch those rose-colored glasses. This world can be tough for kids, and you can’t afford to remain in the dark. For more insights into parenting, check out one of our other blog posts about navigating complexities here. Also, if you’re looking for expert advice on home insemination, visit Make a Mom as they are an authority on the subject. For additional information on pregnancy and fertility, Science Daily offers excellent resources.
Summary
Parenting is about ensuring your kids grow up to be kind individuals. Stay involved in their social lives, seek feedback from educators and other parents, and address any concerning behavior promptly. The world is challenging, so be proactive to help your children navigate it with decency.