Contrary to my previous beliefs, I’ve abandoned the idea of home birth and the judgment I once cast on other women’s birthing experiences.
When I reflect on my past stance against hospital births, I half-expect a mob of outraged women with pitchforks to come knocking, ready to chastise me. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened, and the response has been largely supportive, even though my journey has taken an unexpected turn.
Looking back, I cringe at how I used to critique other women’s birth choices. Just a few years back, I was all about the “crunchy” lifestyle, opting for everything natural and silently judging those who chose differently. I nodded along to their birth stories, all the while mentally disagreeing with them.
But then came baby number four, and my perspective shifted dramatically. My first daughter was born in a cozy cabin in the woods (yes, really), delivered by an inexperienced midwife who was tackling her first solo delivery. It was quite the adventure. After that, I learned from my missteps and ensured our second home birth went smoothly, and the third was equally successful. I thought I was nailing this whole “natural” thing.
Then, pregnancy number four hit me with hyperemesis gravidarum, a condition that felt like an endless hangover mixed with severe food poisoning. Add a distressed baby to the mix, and suddenly, no midwife wanted to take me on. I found myself in hospitals more times than I can count, and when it was finally time to give birth, I was too weak to endure labor pain and opted for an epidural.
A friend jokingly remarked, “Oh, how the mighty have fallen!” It was in that moment I realized natural isn’t always the best route. Sometimes, medical intervention is necessary. The stress over the baby’s well-being prevented my body from having regular contractions until I could finally relax.
After that experience, I genuinely lost any desire to stick my nose into someone else’s birthing choices. I’ve always believed that women should have the autonomy to decide how they want to deliver, considering what’s best for them and their babies. But now, I’ve silenced that smug inner voice that once felt superior for delivering without intervention. Spoiler alert: giving birth naturally didn’t make me a better mom. I parent my youngest two just as I did my older three (hopefully even better!). Each time, I made birthing choices that reflected what I believed was best for both my kids and myself, and thankfully, I didn’t mess that up.
Simply put, I learned to chill out. I discovered that medicine can be incredibly beneficial, especially for high-risk situations. I also learned that it’s perfectly fine to treat my kids to Goldfish crackers occasionally (okay, the gluten-free variety, but that’s due to a legitimate medical condition). While I will always advocate for women to research and make informed decisions about their childbirth experiences, I now recognize that every woman needs to make her own choices.
In my case, I’ve come to realize that my body doesn’t handle pregnancy like it used to, and I’m not convinced home birth is the best option for me anymore. So, even though my husband thinks we’re done at five kids, if I were to have another, I’d gladly head to the hospital for a two-night stay, complete with uncomfortable beds and frequent interruptions—because that’s what works for me now.
And if I happen to meet a home birth mom or a hospital birth mom in a childbirth class, I’d offer an imaginary high-five and a virtual “Good job, mama!” because both made choices that were right for them. At the park, I wouldn’t care about how anyone gave birth—it genuinely doesn’t matter to me. And that’s how it should be.
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Summary
In this article, the author reflects on their journey from a judgmental stance on birthing choices to a more accepting perspective based on personal experiences. After facing complications during their fourth pregnancy, they learned the importance of medical interventions and the need for women to make informed choices that suit their individual circumstances. Ultimately, the author emphasizes the importance of support and respect for each woman’s unique birthing experience.