After welcoming my first child, I embarked on a mission to find fellow moms. My pre-baby friends hadn’t yet dived into the world of parenting, and our lives had taken different paths. While I cherished my childless friends as much as ever, I soon realized the importance of connecting with others who understood the ups and downs of parenthood.
Let’s face it: parenting can sometimes feel like a solitary journey, even when surrounded by little ones. We crave companionship from those who truly understand—those who’ve experienced the sleepless nights, the anxiety, and the whirlwind of emotions that come with loving a child fiercely one moment and feeling overwhelmed the next. Parents need each other to navigate the chaos.
However, we also deeply value our friends without kids. Most of my friends are now parents, from seasoned pros to new arrivals in the parenthood club. We share a common language that makes our bond stronger. Yet, I still have a few friends who don’t have kids—whether by choice or circumstance—and their presence is equally vital, despite our differences.
Let’s be honest: sometimes we parents don’t treat our childless friends very well. We roll our eyes at their complaints about fatigue, create lists of what not to say to parents, and scoff at their “fur babies” as if they’re not real. We can be a bit insufferable, and for that, I apologize.
The truth is, everyone faces challenges, and those without children shouldn’t feel any less validated. Parenthood isn’t a competition, and it doesn’t grant anyone a badge of honor. Just as we seek out fellow parents to share the trials of toddler tantrums and sleepless nights, we need our non-parent friends to remind us of who we were before we took on the titles of “Mom” or “Dad.”
We crave conversations that don’t revolve around diaper changes, homework struggles, or the latest school drama. Instead, we want to chat about politics, fashion, or even whether to wax or thread our eyebrows. We need friends who appreciate us for who we are, not just for our kids’ social calendar.
Not long ago, an old buddy named Jake dropped by for a catch-up session. We’ve been friends for over 16 years, and he’s been a close pal of my husband’s for about three decades. We spent the afternoon cooking, reminiscing about our wild youth, and enjoying comfortable silences. I left feeling lighter and more at ease than I had in months. It was refreshing to share time without talking about kids’ illnesses or sports practices. It reminded me that true friendship can flourish despite our different lifestyles.
As I grow older, I have less patience for superficial friendships. I want to surround myself with genuine connections. Respect, trust, and understanding are the cornerstones of any solid friendship. Common interests are fantastic, but the bonds that truly matter can thrive even amidst significant differences.
So to my childless friends, know that you are cherished. We appreciate you for your understanding when we have to cancel plans last minute or show up late. Thank you for listening to our tales of ear infections and school projects. And in return, I promise to listen to your stories about your pet’s latest antics or the cost of gluten-free dog food without rolling my eyes.
At the end of the day, it’s the quality of friendship that counts.
In summary, parenting can be isolating, but friendships—whether forged through shared experiences or differing lifestyles—are essential. Both parent and non-parent friends play vital roles in our lives, offering support, understanding, and a reminder of who we are beyond our titles. Thank you for being those incredible friends.