Allowing Our Kids to Witness Us Navigate Life’s Tough Moments

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The world has certainly thrown a lot our way lately, hasn’t it? With everything from unpredictable gun violence to bewildering political dramas, not to mention the occasional alligator sighting, it feels like my heart has been on an emotional rollercoaster. My kids have seen me with my nose buried in articles, shedding tears over heartbreaking news, and jotting down thoughts in a bid to understand and perhaps change the narrative.

Should children be shielded from the harsh realities of life just a little longer? Or is it better for them to be prepared for the world they live in? I often find myself torn on this matter. I usually try to filter my reactions, wanting to spare them from believing that everything is sunshine and rainbows.

When my kids ask, “Why are you crying, Mom?” as they catch me wiping my eyes after another devastating headline, I tend to keep it simple: “Some people died, and it makes me sad.”

What I really think: A gunman walked into a gathering and took 49 lives because, let’s face it, this world can be pretty messed up.

What I really think: A baby was snatched by an alligator.

What I really think: Children went to school and never came home.

What I really think: Why on earth are there people wandering around with automatic rifles?

What I really think: Where has all our empathy and kindness gone?

But I don’t voice those thoughts. I’ll save those for the day they’re older and can actually comprehend the weight of the world. For now, they understand that I feel sadness, that people have lost their lives, and that life isn’t always a walk in the park. I think that’s enough for the moment.

Then there are times when I completely disregard my own rules. Like this past weekend when we went camping next to a roaring river, swollen from the recent snow melt. I took one look at that torrent and decided to scare my kids senseless—on purpose. I shared all the hair-raising stories I knew about rivers, detailing how children and adults had been swept away by sudden, unpredictable currents. I shattered my own guidelines and laid it all out there.

After I finished my terrifying tales, my youngest, eyes wide with fear, asked, “Did the kids die?” I replied, “Yes.”

I knew I was leaving her a little more shaken and that her view of the world would be altered. But I hoped it would be enough to keep her clear of the water if I ever took my eyes off her. I wanted her to feel fear to ensure her safety.

Yet, even with our protective instincts, I suspect our kids are more aware than we give them credit for. They’ve grown up in a world where school drills prepare them for potential threats, where buckling up in the car is second nature, and where they know how to act around wild animals. My kids even know to scream if they spot a friend heading towards that raging river. And guess what? My daughter did—she screamed.

We can only shield our children for so long. Eventually, they’ll be the ones making choices, laws, and decisions that shape their world. I truly hope they do a better job than we have lately.

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Summary

This piece reflects on the balance between shielding children from the harsh realities of the world and preparing them for it. The author shares personal anecdotes about processing difficult news and navigating moments of fear with her kids, ultimately highlighting that while we strive to protect them, they are often more aware than we think.