How my day starts? Well, that’s the million-dollar question. Is it the blaring alarm clock (mild annoyance), a child’s wail before dawn (slight irritation), or my husband’s snoring (full-blown rage)? The way I wake up seems to dictate the mood for the rest of the day—or at least it used to, before I got my act together.
I’m your average mom dealing with typical frustrations. Like every other mother out there, I’m often exhausted. I do all the right things: I practice self-care, take deep breaths, and I try hard. Yet, there are days when life just overwhelms me, and my kids notice.
A recent epiphany hit me hard: I set the emotional vibe in my home. Me. Not my partner, not our challenging oldest child, not our outspoken toddler or picky middle kid. Me.
And honestly? I was dropping the ball. Sure, I was keeping them fed and dressed, but my attitude? Not great.
I’ve read about the mother’s pivotal role in her children’s emotional health before. I always brushed it off, thinking that since I was emotionally stable pre-motherhood, it didn’t apply to me. I used to think, “Come on, it’s 2016—how can all this responsibility fall on my shoulders?” I can’t handle that kind of pressure. I have goals, a career, and my husband is a partner in this journey, so shouldn’t he share the load?
In theory, yes. But in practice, that’s not how it played out in our household. After much contemplation, I realized that as the mom, I carry the heaviest emotional burden. Despite strides in gender equality, my kids can sense my mood, and it influences their behavior—positively or negatively. There’s an unspoken connection; just as I can pick up on when something’s off with them, they can detect when I’m not okay.
When I’m cranky, they’re cranky. When I’m upbeat, so are they. When I’m frazzled, they turn into little tornadoes. And when I pretend everything’s peachy when it’s not? Yeah, they can tell.
For years, I tucked this knowledge away and focused on mere survival. But a pattern emerged: when I was sleep-deprived from a restless baby, my toddler seemed to test my limits. Conversely, when I was well-rested and cheerful, my kids appeared more relaxed. It’s a chain reaction, and I couldn’t ignore that it all began with me.
My emotional state is deeply intertwined with my children’s; how I feel impacts my parenting, my family interactions, and ultimately, my kids. They watch and emulate me. The moment I recognized this was the moment I knew I needed to step up my game.
After some trial and error, I found a routine that worked for me. I started working part-time, allowing myself a break from full-time motherhood and stimulating parts of my brain that had been dormant. I joined a gym with childcare, and I began to check in with myself daily to ensure I was addressing my needs as a human being. Sometimes, we moms forget that we’re people too.
Taking responsibility for yourself is no walk in the park. It’s easy to point fingers at your spouse’s annoying habits and blame them for your moodiness or to come up with excuses for neglecting your own needs. But part of being an adult is facing that reflection in the mirror. If I wanted a happy home, I needed to start with myself. Looking to my husband or kids wasn’t cutting it. They have their roles, but the foundation starts with me.
Once I centered myself, my family started to follow suit. It created a ripple effect of positivity. It’s humbling to realize just how much influence I wield—good or bad—over my entire family. It’s funny how I can demonstrate a million physical behaviors (like how to toss dirty laundry in the hamper), yet they often ignore those, but when it comes to attitudes? Well, that stuff is contagious.
For more insights on emotional wellness and parenting, check out this post on family-building options from Resolve. And if you’re exploring home insemination, make sure to visit Make A Mom for their expert advice on artificial insemination kits.
Summary:
In this candid reflection, Jamie Thompson shares her journey of recognizing her pivotal role in setting the emotional tone for her family. By acknowledging that her mood deeply influences her children’s behavior, she takes proactive steps to ensure her emotional well-being. Through self-care and personal responsibility, she learns that positivity is contagious and that a happy household starts with her.