You know that moment when someone casually asks, “So, what do you do all day?” It often feels less like innocent small talk and more like a test. The subtle undertone can imply they’re sizing up my work ethic based on my answer, almost like there’s a socially acceptable response and anything else might raise eyebrows. As my kids progressed through preschool, I began to hear, “So, what will you do with all that free time?” And now, as the day approaches when all my little ones will be in school full time, the big question is, “So, what’s your plan for next year?”
I’ve had my share of guilt about being a stay-at-home mom. On those days (okay, weeks) when laundry piles up and dinner becomes a last-minute pizza order, I can’t help but compare myself to working moms who seem to juggle it all. There were countless days where I felt completely overwhelmed — like the time I was managing twin toddlers and a newborn or when I had three rambunctious kids under five. Honestly, there were times I just crumpled on the floor, feeling like I was barely keeping it together. So, what do I do with my time? Seriously, how do other people manage to do it all in just 24 hours?
But as my kids have grown, life has become a bit easier. However, the questions have only intensified, and so have the feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment when I’m asked about my plans for next year. It has caused me considerable anxiety and uncertainty. What is the right answer?
After a year of wrestling with these thoughts, my husband and I have come to a decision about our family’s future, and I’ve resolved to stop feeling guilty about my choice. Instead, I’m going to embrace the opportunity to be home. Here are five reasons I’ve decided to continue being a stay-at-home mom even after my kids start school:
1. Because I can.
Let’s be real: it’s a straightforward truth. Our family has thrived on my husband’s income for years, and we’re fortunate enough to continue doing so. We might not be rolling in dough, but we’re comfortably situated in the middle class. Sure, having extra cash would be great, but the benefits of me staying home outweigh the financial perks.
2. To be available.
I’ll be around during those random school holidays, teacher institute days, and the entire winter, spring, and summer breaks. The kids only attend school for about 180 days a year, and I won’t have to scramble for childcare when they’re sick. I see my working mom friends struggle to find reliable care on those unexpected days off. Plus, I won’t be working evenings or weekends — I’ll be available when they need me.
3. To ease my husband’s load.
People often think that having a non-working spouse adds to the burden. However, for us, it simply means I can take on more responsibilities at home. My husband works tirelessly, and I want him to come home to a less chaotic environment. He’s looking forward to me picking up some of the household tasks like yard work and laundry, so he can finally relax after a long day.
4. To improve myself.
Much of what I plan to do next year resembles what I already do, but with the added time, I hope to do it better: more efficient meal planning, smarter shopping, and perhaps even tackling laundry as soon as it’s dirty (we’ll see about that one). I also want to carve out time for my passions and pursue what makes me feel alive. A happier, less stressed me is beneficial for both my kids and my husband.
5. Because life is fleeting.
I’ve become acutely aware of how quickly time passes and how uncertain life can be. As a cancer survivor and someone who faced a challenging birth experience, I know that family time is more valuable than a paycheck. By remaining at home, I can optimize our time together. I can handle errands during the week, freeing up our evenings and weekends for family bonding instead of chores. Seriously, how many hours could we gain by not squeezing in grocery runs on Saturdays?
So, what will I be doing next year? Enjoying every moment.
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Summary:
The author shares her reasons for choosing to remain a stay-at-home mom even after her children start school. She emphasizes the financial feasibility, availability for her kids, easing her husband’s responsibilities, improving her personal skills, and the importance of family time. Ultimately, she sees this decision as a way to enjoy life and make the most of her time with her family.