Why Clean Floors Don’t Define a Good Mom

home insemination Kit

Not long ago, my sister’s husband gifted me a vibrant sign that read, “Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy kids.” Immediately, I quipped about how my floors aren’t sticky and my oven isn’t dirty—so, what was he implying? He backtracked hastily, clearly flustered. “Oh, no! Your place is spotless… really spotless. I just thought the sign was neat.” Nice save, buddy.

You’ve probably encountered similar phrases on every Pinterest board, declaring, “Excuse the mess. My kids are making memories.” These sentiments are splashed across pillows, coffee mugs, and even those ahem charming signs that you might hang if you had a moment to spare.

While I know my brother-in-law had good intentions, his gift got me thinking. As a mom of two energetic girls who rarely clean up after themselves, I often find my home not in chaos but rather in good shape. Toys are stowed away, bathrooms are scrubbed, and I wouldn’t bat an eye if a friend dropped by unannounced. Heck, my floors might even be clean.

Now, I’m not asking for a superhero cape, but I want to clarify why I find this saying misguided. Moms juggle a plethora of responsibilities beyond just entertaining their kids. Sure, I love diving into a game of blocks or hosting a tea party, and there’s plenty of laughter and joy in our daily lives. However, I refuse to let my toddler’s whims dictate my life entirely. She’s in my world, which means chores and responsibilities come into play.

The crux of this saying, though it seems lighthearted, suggests that a good mother prioritizes playtime over household tasks. She overlooks laundry piles to engage in a puzzle, and she doesn’t mind sticky floors when her little one wants to play hide-and-seek. It implies that the happiness of her children overshadows all else. And while childhood is indeed fleeting, laundry and cleaning can wait—up to a point.

On the other hand, if a mom keeps a tidy home, she’s often judged as a neglectful caregiver. She must be locking away her miserable kids in a dark room with just a stale crust of bread and the Bible while she enjoys her cleaning spree. How dare she do dishes while her child plays with dolls? The nerve!

Friends, if our children’s happiness is the sole measure of good motherhood, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Often, the moments I feel I’m doing well as a parent are precisely when my toddler is in a tantrum.

I clean not because I’m a joyless mom but to instill a sense of work ethic in my daughters. I want them to see that maintaining a home requires effort. The mess won’t vanish with just a few rounds of “pat-a-cake.” Trust me, I’ve tried.

Like any job, managing a household demands discipline, intention, and sometimes a lot of elbow grease. I try to make chores enjoyable; we dance to Frank Sinatra or race to see who can pick up the most toys in ten seconds. If I want my girls to aspire to great careers—be it as mothers, teachers, CEOs, or even masseuses (fingers crossed!)—I need to show them the value of hard work.

Moreover, I want my girls to understand that the universe doesn’t revolve around their adorable selves. They need to learn independence, creativity, and the ability to play without me hovering over them.

In the grand scheme, does it matter if my floors are spotless? Or if yours are a bit messy? Not really. A clean house doesn’t make me a better mom, just as a messy one doesn’t make you a bad one. The real question is what values we impart to our children.

If we neglect our responsibilities to keep our kids entertained, what lesson does that teach? Conversely, if we ignore our children to maintain a pristine home, what are we showing them? Ultimately, what counts are the life lessons rooted in our daily routines, whether we’re mopping sticky floors or scrubbing the oven—even if it makes our kids momentarily unhappy.