Back in my rebellious teen years, the worst label you could slap on me was “conformist.” It was the mid-‘90s—a time when I, like every other “alternative” girl, donned my Doc Martens, playful barrettes, and floaty slip dresses. My vibrant rainbow hair, courtesy of Manic Panic, was meant to scream uniqueness. Ironically, I didn’t realize that in my quest to stand out, I was just blending in with my fellow “nonconformists.”
Fast forward twenty years, and I’ve done a complete 180. Why? Because I became a parent. Caring for little ones—feeding, bathing, and spending time with them—takes up a lot of time. My once cherished pastime of diving deep into research has transformed into a quest for sleep.
Instead of scouring the internet for the best products, I lean on the experiences of my friends. If my cousin has already picked a booster seat for her daughter, why on earth would I waste time researching my own? When it came time to buy a stroller, I asked my friends for their recommendations. Oh, the orange City Mini? If it worked for them, it’s good enough for me. And let’s not forget my car—bought because so many friends loved their Honda CRVs. Guess what color mine is? Silver, just like everyone else’s.
Thanks to the joys of crowdsourcing, a simple post on Facebook or a message board yields a treasure trove of suggestions. I find myself buying the same snacks as my friends; if your pantry is stocked with Annie’s macaroni and cheese, you can bet mine is too! Our kids play with the same toys and read the same books. Who doesn’t love a good Sandra Boynton title?
Sure, every child is unique, and what works for my kids may not suit yours, but generally, we all need similar essentials—strollers, car seats, clothes. We share tips on baby bottles and what’s worth the investment and what’s utterly unnecessary (seriously, no one needs a pee-pee teepee).
I’ll admit it: conforming isn’t just easier; it’s downright comforting. Parenting is riddled with uncertainties, and the fear of messing up our little ones looms large. By following the well-trodden path of friends who have been there first, I gain a sense of reassurance.
I don’t need to be a special snowflake anymore. Sure, I still want to express myself—my natural brunette hair has taken on a more subdued red hue these days—but I can still embrace the same baby walker as my best pal without losing my individuality.
There’s no trophy for making life harder on yourself. I never imagined I’d find joy in conformity, but life has a way of surprising you. Fresh out of college, I envisioned conquering the world after moving to New York City. While I didn’t quite achieve that dream, I did manage to marry and raise two wonderful kids.
As I’ve matured, my definition of success has shifted. I no longer crave the spotlight; my focus is on keeping my children safe, happy, and healthy. Embracing the conformist side of parenthood helps me achieve that.
So here I am, a proud parent and a happy conformist, and I’m learning to love the label more with each passing day.
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Summary:
In this humorous reflection, Jen Simon shares her journey from rebellious teen to a content conformist parent. Embracing the comfort of conformity, she highlights the ease of relying on friends’ recommendations for parenting products, showcasing how her priorities have evolved with motherhood. By accepting the shared experiences of fellow parents, she finds solace in the common ground of parenting.