Hey there, Dads!

Let’s chat about something that’s been on my mind: it’s time to stop expecting accolades for simply being a parent. Not long ago, I penned an article for a popular site discussing a rather foolish argument I had with my partner, where I thought I deserved a medal for getting up in the middle of the night. I said, “Most guys don’t do that.” Spoiler alert: I quickly realized how wrong I was and apologized. That piece ended up going viral and translated into a bunch of languages.

Fathers Stepping Up

What I’ve noticed since then is that fathers are stepping up more than ever. I’ve received countless messages from moms who appreciate their husbands doing chores and nighttime duties—like me! But here’s the kicker: they don’t like it when their partners act like they deserve a gold star for it.

I get it, guys. I’m doing way more than my dad ever did in the parenting department. I remember grocery shopping with my mother a while back, while my partner was home with our three kids. She asked me why I was shopping, and I ended up explaining how I also handle nighttime wake-ups and laundry. She was perplexed because my dad never participated in that way. He went to work, brought home the paycheck, and that was the extent of his involvement. Unfortunately, that “I bring home the bacon” mentality still lingers in many dads’ minds.

Equality in Parenting

But here’s the deal: we’re living in an age of equality, and fathers are no longer sidelined in parenting. This is fantastic! I feel way closer to my kids than my dad ever was to me, and that’s largely because I see parenting as a shared duty.

However, some fathers still believe they should be rewarded for doing basic household tasks or caring for their kids. Spoiler alert: you shouldn’t expect that! While it’s important for couples to express gratitude occasionally, don’t anticipate a standing ovation for loading the dishwasher or changing a diaper. Society has moved beyond the point where dads think they should earn special favors for simply being involved.

Moving Past Outdated Mindsets

If you’re one of those stuck in the ’50s mindset, thinking your wife is solely responsible for housework while you bring home the bacon, this message isn’t for you. Time to step aside, buddy.

I’m addressing those dads who are all in. The ones who don’t wait for their partner to change a diaper when they smell something funky. You’re doing amazing work, and it’s time to own that. Let’s move past outdated gender roles and recognize that parenting is a shared responsibility. If the bathroom needs cleaning, just do it without expecting a parade.

The Shift in Household Dynamics

This shift is a great thing. In 2013, 40% of households with kids under 18 had moms as the primary breadwinners, which shows that bringing home a paycheck isn’t everything anymore.

When I became a dad, my son wouldn’t sleep unless someone held him upright. My partner and I were both working full-time jobs, exhausted from our night shifts. I couldn’t just leave all the nighttime duties to her. We were in it together.

Looking back, those late-night wake-ups were my only chances to bond with my son. My father missed out on those moments because of outdated gender expectations. But I’m lucky because I don’t have to. Dads, we need to focus less on receiving acknowledgement for chores and more on the rewarding memories we create with our kids.

Embracing Our Role as Fathers

Caring for children isn’t shameful or a woman’s job—it’s about being a parent. This is a partnership filled with precious memories and heartwarming moments. Let’s embrace this reality and appreciate our role as fathers without acting like we’re owed something in return.

Additional Resources

For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out our other blog posts, such as this one about contacting us for tips on the journey of insemination. If you’re on a fertility journey, Make a Mom is an excellent resource as well. And don’t forget to listen to Cleveland Clinic’s podcast for great information on pregnancy and home insemination.

In Summary

It’s time for dads to ditch the expectation of praise for basic parenting duties, embrace their role as equal partners in raising their kids, and create those cherished memories.