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Being a Working Mom Has Empowered Me to Navigate My Divorce
I was in the midst of packing for a business trip when my husband dropped the bombshell: our marriage was over, and he wanted a divorce. I felt a mix of devastation and relief. If this had happened just a few months earlier, I would have been utterly paralyzed by fear. But in 2016, after years of being a stay-at-home mom, I had finally secured a decent job. Despite the ongoing stigma around financial stability, especially for moms, I was no longer in a completely vulnerable position.
Typically, people don’t tie the knot with a plan for divorce in mind. And I doubt many moms enter parenthood thinking, “I can’t wait to be a single parent!” So, there I stood, heart heavy, as my husband spoke the words that would change everything.
Being a working mom during this chaotic time has provided me with a sense of stability. First and foremost, I know I can support my kids and keep a roof over their heads—maybe not the fanciest one, but it’ll keep them safe. Plus, my job serves as a welcome distraction, preventing me from spiraling into a pit of self-doubt and anxiety. I can lose myself in my work for a few hours, giving my heart a much-needed breather.
Had I still been a stay-at-home mom when my husband made his announcement, I honestly can’t say how I would have coped. I often hear tales of women emerging from tough situations with incredible resilience, managing to rebuild their lives, but I sometimes wonder if I possess that same strength. “I’m just me. I’m just a mom,” my inner critic whispers.
My children are witnessing this emotional upheaval, which is perhaps the most challenging aspect. They see me trying to stay strong in front of them, even as I speak to their father with a strained respect. Having a steady paycheck allows me to demonstrate to my kids that resilience is possible, regardless of the outcome. “I’m me, and I’m a badass mom!” my heart insists.
At night, as I lay down to sleep, my mind races through the to-do list for the next day, inevitably landing on the crucial reminder to breathe and stay strong. I have yet to encounter a moment during this initial phase of divorce when I think, “I’ve got this.” Honestly, I often feel like crumbling, but I push through. My thoughts clash in a chaotic blend of fear, love, plans, and sadness.
Each morning, I rise, don my work attire, pack lunches, plant kisses on foreheads, and head off to work, grateful for the consistent paycheck that will appear in my account every Friday. With a bit more determination and a few more paychecks, I’ll be looking for a new, modest place to call home, proving to my kids that I am indeed tougher than I ever thought.
If you’re navigating your own path through relationships or parenthood, you might find inspiration in our other blog posts, such as the one on intracervical insemination. Additionally, you can explore fertility resources for support. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource at womenshealth.gov.
In summary, my journey as a working mom during my divorce has provided me with strength and stability that I desperately needed. While the road ahead is uncertain, I’m committed to showing my children that resilience is key, and I’m ready to face whatever comes next.