I Am Your Mother, Not Your Maid

home insemination Kit

Hey there, kiddos,

I may have lost my cool this morning when I ventured into your rooms, but let’s be real: it’s on you. When I asked if your rooms were clean and you were all busy staring at your phones, mumbling a half-hearted “yes,” I sensed something was off. So, I had to check for myself. I know I got a little intense, but just to be clear, this isn’t an apology; it’s more of a “This Is How Things Are Going to Change” letter, so pay attention.

Newsflash, my little darlings: I am your mother. I am the head honcho in this household, not your maid, butler, or doormat. You’re old enough to know better. I’ve told you countless times to clean up after yourselves, and it’s exhausting to think about how often I’ve said it. I’m done. I set the tone in this house, and it’s time for you to step up.

You might be wondering why I got so riled up over “a few things out of place.” Well, let me enlighten you: I just found a mountain of dirty socks and underwear stuffed under your bed. Trust me, there are some things a mother should never witness. Oh, and those curtains? Not tissues, kids!

As I stormed down the stairs with an armful of your crusty laundry, I tripped over the shoes left in the middle of the floor—right where I could easily roll my ankle. It’s like a minefield in here! And while tossing laundry into the washer, I nearly slipped on the remnants of your bathroom escapades. Don’t act like you don’t hear that splatter; after all this time, you still leave the bathroom like a disaster zone without a second thought.

I’m done with excuses. I’m done reminding you. If I find another candy wrapper hiding under a bed, sofa, or chair, I’m going to lose it. Oh wait, I’m already losing it! This is the last time I’m raising my voice over your messiness, and it certainly includes that bathroom business.

I’m the gatekeeper of fun, so I won’t be shouting about this anymore. Instead, I will simply take things away. Your devices? Gone. Friends coming over? Not a chance. And if you think I’m getting ice cream just because I want one, think again! I can enjoy a chocolate cone solo while you watch me clean up your messes.

Don’t think for a second that I’ll forget about those dirty clothes thrown around or that apple core hidden under the cushions. Some sights are hard to unsee, and I will shut down the fun faster than you can stick your chewed gum on the windowsill.

It’s not too much to ask for you to keep things tidy. This chaos doesn’t happen because you “forgot” or “didn’t know.” Everyone knows that toothpaste doesn’t belong on the window and used floss shouldn’t be on the sink’s edge. It’s just laziness, and I’ve got a remedy for that.

Are we clear? Good. Now go clean your room.

Mom