My kids are currently livid with me.
Why, you ask? It could be for numerous reasons. As their mother — definitely not their buddy — they often find themselves frustrated with me.
Do I long for a strong bond with my children? Absolutely. Do I desire their love and respect? You bet. Do I want them to trust me and see me as their safe haven, biggest supporter, and fiercest protector? Without a doubt. But their friend? No, thank you. I am their mom, not their friend.
And sadly, that mom-not-friend role means they frequently find me insufferable. I’m not one to brag, but I’ve been dubbed the World’s Strictest Mom more than a few times. And you know what? I’m totally fine with that.
Here’s the deal: I don’t believe I need to be friends with my kids — or that I even should be. I certainly wouldn’t allow a friend to get away with the nonsense my kids sometimes pull, but they’re still learning, and it’s my duty to guide them. Sometimes, that means embracing the World’s Strictest Mom title.
I’m relatively lenient about a lot of things, but that doesn’t stop my kids from being mad at me regularly. If I allow them some junk food, they might get upset if I choose barbecue chips that are too red or if I put those overly bright chips in the orange bowl rather than the blue one. If I agree to extra screen time, they’ll be annoyed when I eventually cut it off, whether it’s after 10 minutes or 10 hours. With every “yes,” there’s always a demand for more and a frustrated child to follow.
Since we spend countless hours driving from one place to another, they often express their displeasure while in the car. They get irritated when I drive too slowly or sing along to the radio, and goodness forbid I sing the correct lyrics instead of the made-up ones they think are right. When they complain about my singing, I just turn it up a notch. They get annoyed when I drop them off at school too “late” (which, for them, means 10 minutes early so they can chat with friends before class). And they absolutely hate it when I pull up to the front of the carpool line (as you’re supposed to!) instead of letting them leap out of a moving vehicle right at the school entrance. Believe me, there have been countless mornings when farewells and “I love yous” were exchanged through gritted teeth.
And speaking of things that really rile them up? I shatter their dreams of living in squalor. I commit heinous acts like washing their clothes and blankets. Apparently, they prefer to snuggle with a filthy rag when they go to bed. If they’re upset about cleaning their beloved blankets, just imagine the chaos I create when I insist they take a shower — and actually use soap. And if they have to wash their hair? Let’s just say that earned me a legendary tantrum, and I still wore the title of World’s Strictest Mom afterward. You know how that ended? With a shower that included soap and shampoo, for crying out loud.
However, these actions alone might not be enough to solidify my title as World’s Strictest Mom. No, it takes more than clean hair and laundry to earn that badge. It requires heartfelt compliments and displays of affection. You know, like saying, “What an awesome drawing!” or “I love your shirt,” and giving them an extra tight hug before bed.
Cooking for them and cleaning up after their messes often racks up a few Meanest Mom points too. For example, I’ve managed to annoy them by actually putting cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich and cutting that cheese-filled delight into squares instead of triangles. And if you’re looking for a surefire way to frustrate a kid? Just tidy up the Legos that have been scattered on the kitchen floor for five days because they were “still playing with them.”
I can irritate my kids in a thousand different ways a day. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. It’s probably only in the hundreds. But I fully accept it — because I’m not meant to be their friend.
Instead, I get to be something even more special: their mom.
And if that means ruffling their feathers from time to time, so be it.
For more insights on parenting, check out this other blog post about home insemination.
Summary
In today’s parenting world, being the strict mom can earn you the title of “World’s Meanest Mom,” but it’s a badge of honor for many. It’s essential to prioritize guidance and responsibility over friendship in order to foster a healthy relationship with children. Whether it’s dealing with junk food choices or insisting on showers, finding the balance between being a parent and a friend is key.