Granting My Kids the Gift of Leisure Time

I engage with my kids often, but I firmly believe in the importance of giving them ample free time. Our schedules aren’t jam-packed, I don’t follow them around the playground, and it’s rare that I suggest activities to fill their time. Instead, I encourage them to think for themselves. If they’re bored, it’s on them to figure it out. Occasionally, I even ignore their pleas for entertainment. They don’t always need my guidance; how else will they learn to navigate the world independently? Some of their most cherished memories have come from those moments when I stepped back and let them take the lead.

After years of nurturing my little ones—birthing, nursing, cuddling, and sharing countless sleepless nights—it was a breath of fresh air when they reached an age where they could entertain themselves for a while. I vividly recall the first time my eldest stumbled upon the Tupperware drawer. He spent nearly an hour pulling everything out and then putting it back in. It was pure bliss! I indulged in strawberries while chatting with my best friend on the phone. Since we both gained so much from it, I began to encourage this kind of independent play regularly.

As parents, we do enough planning and organizing as it is. Free time is crucial for a happy household. It’s a gift for both me and my kids, allowing us to engage in activities that don’t require strict guidelines or structure. Providing them with free time has been transformative for all of us.

Fostering Independence

Watching them tackle problems on their own is incredibly rewarding. I often observe them as they confront an issue, pausing to think about potential solutions. I hold back from interrupting their thought process, knowing that patience will reveal their thought patterns. The pride they express upon arriving at their own conclusions is priceless—like that time my son discovered that giving our dog a stick would distract him from chasing his golf ball while he practiced his swing.

Claiming My Freedom

I do a lot with my children, but I also need moments to recharge. I can’t constantly be fully engaged in their activities. Like any mother, I require downtime. When I declare “free time,” it applies to me too. This doesn’t mean they can’t ask for help; it simply means I’ll be reading, writing, or knitting while they play. When we all take a breather, we’re better equipped to tackle challenges like bedtime (which we still struggle with, let’s be honest).

Encouraging Sibling Bonds

Since we don’t have a packed agenda every day, my kids have come to realize they can’t rely on me for playtime. They must find ways to entertain themselves—together or apart. More often than not, they choose to play together. Sure, there are squabbles and competition for power, but when I let them work it out, they resolve their conflicts much faster than if I intervened.

Nurturing Creativity

Giving them space cultivates their imagination and fosters creative thinking. When I see them deeply engrossed in their own worlds—like pretending to be the valiant hero saving a colony of ladybugs—it’s a beautiful sight. That creativity is innate; it’s not something I can manufacture for them.

Letting Them Create Their Own Fun

With fewer scheduled activities, they aren’t always searching for the next thrill. I’ve seen how overwhelming an overloaded calendar can be, especially during family vacations. The “What’s next?” mentality leads to crankiness all around.

The Joy of Observation

I cherish the moments spent alongside my children, watching them play or laughing as they zoom by on their bikes. Though it may seem like I’m uninvolved, I’m very much present. Sometimes I join in, but often, I find joy in observing them. They seem to engage more with each other when I’m not in the mix—probably because they can’t complain to me!

Life can get busy, and some days are more chaotic than others, but I strive to avoid over-scheduling for both their well-being and mine. There’s nothing quite like immersing oneself in a good book, observing ants building their home, or doodling in a coloring book. Free time allows my kids to truly be kids. They’ll have plenty of years ahead filled with packed schedules and discussions about being busy. Their childhood shouldn’t be one of those times—for them or for me.

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Summary:

Embracing free time for my children has fostered their independence, creativity, and sibling bonds. It allows them to solve problems, nurture their imaginations, and enjoy each other’s company without constant adult oversight. By stepping back, I not only recharge but also give them the space to flourish, making our home a happier place for all.