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A Heartfelt Thanks to My Straight Village
Parenting is universally challenging, but when you’re a gay parent, it can feel like navigating a stormy sea, especially with laws crafted by straight politicians or those still wrestling with their identities. The hurdles can feel endless. While it’s easy for gay parents to rally around one another—after all, we share a unique understanding—my family, with two moms and three kids, craves a larger support network. So, let’s skip the gay puns and Village People references because I have an immense appreciation for my straight village: the array of straight friends, parents, and even strangers who help me raise my children. I want to extend my gratitude to them.
First, a big shoutout to my straight friends who love me just as I am. They recognize my sexuality as just one aspect of my identity, not the entire narrative. While they acknowledge my queerness, they don’t let it define our relationship. They stood by my partner and me throughout our journey to parenthood, cheering us on every step of the way.
I also want to thank the straight allies I’ve never met who advocate for equality and stand against hatred. Their motivations may stem from compassion, respect, or simply the shared sorrow they feel for their LGBTQ+ friends facing discrimination. Whatever the reason, their support matters immensely.
To the straight parents out there: thank you for seeing me primarily as a parent. This parenting gig is no walk in the park. Whether it’s my closest pals or parents I’ve only crossed paths with in stores, I feel a profound sense of respect and encouragement. Parenting brings us together; after all, toddlers can be a handful! I rely on my straight village to share my frustrations, lean on for support, and wave the rainbow flag when I’m too exhausted to do so myself.
Traveling with kids is another fantastic equalizer between us gays and straights. Picture this: a cramped airplane with a toddler who’s suddenly become a miniature hurricane. My partner and I recently took our three kids—from our home in Vermont to sunny Florida—an almost-four-year-old daughter and twin 18-month-old boys. We entered the trip blissfully ignorant of the chaos awaiting us. Our daughter had her own seat and a stash of snacks; we figured she’d be entertained, even if sugar-fueled.
One flight turned into a nightmare. My partner was seated ten rows away with one of the boys while I was left with our screaming son and our daughter, who was thankfully munching on her snacks. I was a sweaty mess, desperate for a drink, while the gentleman beside me tried to read his book, clearly annoyed. Trust me, I wanted the noise to stop too. But then, a kind mother nearby noticed my plight and offered assistance. She asked if I needed help and even offered to watch her kids while I managed mine. Her empathy was like a breath of fresh air; she reminded me I wasn’t alone.
That brief moment of kindness helped me regain my composure and reminded me of the support around me. This woman, like so many others, is part of my village, and I needed her to help navigate the wild seas of parenting.
While I cherish my gay village, it’s the straight parents—those who have no personal stake in my fight for equality—who inspire me to keep pressing forward. Their support gives me hope that one day, our villages will blend, and we’ll all be united in our shared goal: raising our children.
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In summary, the support from my straight village is invaluable. They remind me that we’re all in this together, regardless of our differences, united by the challenges and joys of parenting.