My Daughter Is Always Stunning, No Exceptions!

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I’m probably a bit biased, but my daughter is just breathtaking. Truly. She has striking blue eyes tucked behind dark lashes, a dazzling smile, and light brown hair that gleams like gold in the sunlight. Friends, family, and even random strangers shower her with compliments, and I’m grateful for every kind word that comes our way—except for the ones with strings attached.

You know the type, right? You’ve likely uttered them yourself. I’ll admit, I have, too, and I still battle with the urge to keep those conditional phrases from slipping out when I chat with my daughter.

• “You look so lovely with your hair down.”
• “You’re so adorable now that you’ve had a bath!”
• “Oh, that outfit really makes you shine!”

While I understand these remarks are typically harmless, they come with an unspoken condition. She’s only beautiful with her hair down, not in a ponytail. She’s not pretty until she’s clean and dressed up. The implication is that her beauty hinges on external factors, and that’s not the message I want to convey to my daughter.

What’s more troubling is that at just 4 years old, she’s already catching on to these subtle hints. She’ll prance out of her room after getting dressed and ask, “Mommy, do I look pretty now?” Or after brushing her teeth, she’ll flash a smile and say, “Look, Mom! I’m pretty now!”

Her innocence makes it even harder to hear. I respond gently, “Sweetheart, you are always beautiful. You’re stunning all the time. It’s your heart that shines. There’s nothing you can do or wear to change how pretty you are right now. You were, are, and always will be beautiful.”

She doesn’t quite grasp it yet. For now, she just smiles and spins off into her next adventure. But I make it a point to repeat this affirmation every time she questions her beauty based on her actions or attire—it’s crucial that these words become a part of her identity.

Our daughters are growing up in a world filled with messages that can be damaging. They’re taught, directly or indirectly, that they’re to blame for the attention they receive, and that their worth is tied to a specific size. A single negative comment online can shatter their self-esteem, and we have to be vigilant.

Being a woman today is tough, and the last thing I want is for my daughter to feel that her beauty is contingent upon anything external. She needs to hear from everyone around her that she is beautiful simply because she exists. Whether she’s wearing a fancy dress or has peanut butter smeared all over her face, my daughter is stunning all the darn time.

So please, refrain from calling my daughter beautiful if there’s a caveat attached. She doesn’t need to learn at such a young age that beauty comes with conditions—it simply shouldn’t. I want to protect her from that societal lie for as long as I can.

For more insights on parenting and self-love, check out this other blog post here. Also, if you’re interested in starting a family, you might find helpful resources at Make a Mom and Wikipedia about artificial insemination.

Summary:

This piece emphasizes the importance of unconditional beauty in a young girl’s life. The author shares personal experiences raising her daughter, who is already influenced by societal pressures regarding beauty. By reinforcing the idea that beauty is inherent and not dependent on external factors, she hopes to protect her daughter from the damaging messages pervasive in today’s world.