How I Found Body Positivity During My Pregnancy

home insemination Kit

I was seven months pregnant and somehow found myself shopping for maternity tops again. I picked one from the pile and struggled to put it on. “Wow, that doesn’t look cute at all,” I grimaced at my reflection in the mirror. “Must be something wrong with this shirt.” That thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

For the past three decades, I had battled with my weight, constantly criticizing my body. Stepping into a dressing room was an invitation to self-loathing, with the only variable being how harsh I would be on myself. If I was lucky, I’d find something that hid my figure just enough for me to feel okay. It was always my body that failed the test, never the fashion.

But that day, I realized that pregnancy had shifted something deep within me: I loved how I looked! I adored my bump, appreciated what it represented, and enjoyed the way people treated me. I was experiencing a “magical unicorn pregnancy” with hardly any unpleasant symptoms, and everything about it made me feel fantastic. (Don’t hate me—let’s just say baby No. 2 brought a whole new level of fun!)

Miraculously, my pregnant brain decided I was looking fabulous, and any shirt that didn’t flatter me simply wasn’t cute enough. My old default assumption of, “There must be something wrong with me,” had vanished. It felt liberating! I reveled in horizontal stripes and cute empire waist tops that showcased my shape. For the first time ever, I loved my reflection in the mirror.

Sadly, this burst of body positivity fizzled out almost immediately after my daughter was born. I severely underestimated the stubbornness of baby weight and how long it would linger. Nursing tops felt just a tad too snug, yet I was too proud to switch them out. I clung to my maternity jeans like a security blanket, all while feeling anxious that someone in the grocery store might ask me when I was due.

Somehow, I found myself right back where I started.

Fast forward two years, and here I am, five months pregnant again. This time, I eagerly dug into my stash of maternity clothes almost immediately, reaching for those elastic waists by week nine. I was excited to dive back into that mindset, and I’m thrilled to say it’s returned with full force! Sure, I still have my moments; I’m beginning this pregnancy with 20 pounds from my first one still hanging around. Some of my favorite outfits don’t fit, but I haven’t worked up the courage to part with them yet.

Regardless, I’m falling in love with my belly again. I’m wearing outfits I’d never dream of trying if I weren’t pregnant. I flaunt tight tops with yoga pants, and honestly, I don’t care. I prefer them for highlighting my bump even more. Since I’m naturally on the heavier side, it’s not always obvious that I’m pregnant. Sometimes, I glance in the mirror and worry that someone might think I’m just fat instead of pregnant. But you know what? That’s THEIR problem. If only I could hold onto this attitude all the time!

My goal is to give life to my new baby girl while remembering that my body is amazing. Even more importantly, I want to teach my daughters to love their bodies and believe they are beautiful. I want to instill in them that clothes are meant to flatter us, and if they don’t, it’s not our bodies that need to change. The opinions of others should not affect our self-worth.

I genuinely believe in these ideals; it’s the world I aspire to live in and the person I want to be. Yet, I find myself only accessing this mindset during brief moments. But this time, I’m determined to practice harder. After all, maybe it’s just about training my brain to recognize my own beauty. Lucky for me, I have five more months to get into peak self-esteem shape.

Catch ya at the finish line!

For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination from Healthline. And if you’re curious about at-home insemination options, you might want to explore this guide on making your own baby with the help of a home insemination kit!

Summary:

In this reflective piece, Jessica shares her journey of discovering body positivity during her pregnancy. Initially battling with self-image issues throughout her life, she finds joy in her changing body as she embraces her pregnancy. However, postpartum challenges rekindle old insecurities. Now pregnant again, she is determined to maintain her newfound love for her body and pass on this positive mindset to her daughters.