Let’s talk about Lucas. For three long years, we were hesitant to medicate him for his ADHD. We, like many parents before us, adopted the “let’s-try-everything-else-first” approach. It served a dual purpose: it kept the judgmental eyes of other parents at bay who might think we were just taking the lazy route, and it eased our own guilt. After all, we had genuinely tried everything else before considering medication.
The moment of truth came during a parent-teacher conference. I sat with my husband, facing four of Lucas’s teachers, feeling like I was about to be swallowed by the weight of their collective concern. These were some of the best educators around, and despite their best efforts, Lucas was only managing to complete about 40% of his assignments. His classroom was a chaotic mess, with materials scattered everywhere and constant interruptions. They were spending so much time redirecting him that the other kids were suffering. After that meeting, I went home and cried. We needed to make a change; our “everything else” wasn’t cutting it.
The following Tuesday, Lucas started on 10 mg of Focalin, a medication for ADHD. Within fifteen minutes, I noticed subtle shifts. I asked him to put on his shoes—only to find they were already on. When I told him to get in the car, he actually said, “OK,” and did it (what?!). During our ride, instead of the usual chaos, he quietly contemplated his next big Minecraft project. Who was this child, and where had my chatterbox gone?
When he got home that day, he neatly placed his shoes in the laundry room, unpacked his backpack, and dove into his homework while his sister screamed her head off. He actually asked her to be quiet so he could concentrate. This was a first! He finished his homework in record time and dashed out to play with friends.
The next day, I asked him to clear the kitchen table. When I turned around, I was stunned to see that he had already done it. It hit me: it wasn’t just Lucas suffering from ADHD; I was too. I had grown so accustomed to assuming he wouldn’t do what I asked that I had become impatient and reactive. I had learned to yell just to get his attention, and I didn’t even realize how much ADHD had affected all of us—especially me.
By Thursday morning, Lucas was in the car using his multiplication flashcards, reciting them and even creating a study technique reminiscent of something I would have done. I felt a wave of pride and an unfamiliar connection: my son was reflecting me!
Later that day, I ran into his reading and social studies teacher. She was practically glowing as she showed me a writing sample from Lucas. “Just look at it! It reads like a science textbook!” she exclaimed. Lucas even interrupted to ask her about the fire alarm in the room, firing off questions that showed how engaged he was.
I had always considered myself a reactive person, someone prone to yelling and losing patience. But since Lucas started his medication, I’ve found a calmer, more patient side of myself. The medication keeps him focused for a few hours each day after school, allowing me to enjoy a more harmonious home life.
But here’s the catch that keeps me awake at night: I like my son better when he’s on medication. He’s more organized and easier to communicate with, and I’m less likely to yell. Did I medicate him just to make my life easier? Who am I really helping here?
Now, six weeks into this journey, I have gained some perspective. We’ve taken breaks from medication on the weekends, and I’ve noticed I’m significantly more patient even when he’s off. It seems the weekdays prepare me to handle the occasional ADHD moments that pop up. Lucas tells me he’s enjoying school because he finally feels capable, and I remind myself that the medication doesn’t change who he is; it simply clears away the distraction, allowing him to shine.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this article on intracervical insemination. For trustworthy resources on the topic, visit CDC’s ART information and check out Make A Mom for expert advice on kits.
In summary, I’ve come to appreciate that medication isn’t about changing Lucas; it’s about helping him access his true self.