When you’re gearing up for your first child, it’s easy to get swept away in the physical preparations: How big is your belly getting? What colors will grace the nursery walls? Which hospital will welcome your little one? And what kind of car seat will you use to transport your precious bundle home? All of these factors are undeniably important.
However, after navigating the choppy waters of postpartum life, my go-to advice for new moms is this: prioritize your emotional well-being. How can you nurture those around you if you neglect yourself?
As a new mom, I had a lot to unpack. Questions like, “Wait, did that just happen?” and “Is this really my life now?” loomed large. The healing that follows childbirth extends far beyond the physical, encompassing emotional wounds that many women carry long after they leave the hospital.
I learned the importance of letting go. To borrow from Elsa, “Let it go!” Holding onto burdens only complicates your day-to-day life. Plus, you need to be nimble enough to keep up with your toddler and their endless antics.
I quickly realized that I was not alone in feeling overwhelmed. New moms are often caught in a whirlwind of pregnancy hormones, baby blues, and that inevitable “let down,” rendering them blissfully unaware of their own strength. Your touch has the power to soothe, almost like magic. Yet, feelings of guilt and shame can sneak in during what should be the most joyous days.
I can already hear some people thinking, “Wow, moms are going a little nuts!” And yes, we are! But if you think it’s wild to read these thoughts, imagine experiencing them firsthand. These intense emotions often bubble to the surface for nearly every new mom. It’s truly unfair how we sometimes feel. Remember that awkward moment in 8th grade when your period decided to make an appearance on your khaki pants? That’s nothing compared to the chaotic and sometimes embarrassing moments that come with bringing new life into the world. So let’s flip the script. Instead of labeling ourselves with negative words, let’s embrace the truth: You moms are amazing, extraordinary, irreplaceable, and strong.
I want to shake you gently and say:
Don’t cry, Mama. If you don’t see unicorns and rainbows the moment your baby arrives, that’s okay. If your expectations don’t align with reality, or you feel a disconnect, remember: every childbirth experience is unique. You and your little one will be just fine.
Don’t cry, Mama. You’re awake in the middle of the night, and that breast pump sounds like it’s yelling at you. Don’t worry; you’re not losing your mind. Well, maybe just a little. But you’ll endure. (Your partner? They’re blissfully snoring away in the other room.)
Don’t cry, Mama. You’ve asked yourself, “Can I really handle this?” and then felt guilt wash over you for even thinking that. “How could I feel this way? I’m so lucky! I should be Super Mom!” Give yourself a break. You’re navigating the biggest transition of your life, and it’s okay to have those thoughts. Just acknowledge them and let them pass.
Don’t cry, Mama. You’re wondering why and when the arguments with your partner started. “We were having a great night; how did things spiral so quickly?” That’s normal. Parenting as a team can be tricky, and some couples adjust more smoothly than others. My partner and I are still learning and growing together, but at least we’re both committed to putting in the effort, even when it gets tough.
Okay, go ahead and cry, Mama. The baby won’t settle, and yes, he has tugged on your hair one too many times tonight. You’re exhausted, and those cries feel like daggers. It’s perfectly okay to let it out while holding your little one close. Sometimes you simply need to release those emotions. Loving someone so deeply is a monumental task. Cry it out, regroup, and then rise again—because that’s what moms do.
The reality is: you’re not alone. Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s a shared experience. This too shall pass.
The even more significant truth is that you are incredible. We see it. Now, it’s time for you to recognize it as well.
For more insights into navigating this journey, check out Intracervical Insemination and Couples’ Fertility Journey. For those exploring fertility treatments, March of Dimes offers excellent resources.
Summary:
The journey of motherhood is filled with unexpected challenges and emotions. New moms often face overwhelming feelings of guilt, confusion, and isolation, especially post childbirth. It’s crucial to prioritize emotional health and recognize that these feelings are normal. Embrace your strength and the unique journey you’re on, and remember—you are never alone in this experience.