When you’re first getting to know someone who could be a potential romantic partner, you typically engage in a variety of activities together—coffee runs, dinners, movie nights, or even dancing. These experiences help you understand each other’s personalities and how well you click. Initially, you date to learn about one another, but as your connection deepens, it becomes about creating lasting memories.
My partner and I have taken this concept and applied it to our children, but not in a weird, romantic way (yikes!). We aim to deepen our relationships with them. Despite the fact that we both work from home and are around our kids a lot, we discovered that we weren’t dedicating enough quality time to each child individually. We were missing out on the chance to connect with them outside of the family hustle and bustle.
So, we decided to schedule “dates” with each child once a month. Here’s how we make it work:
- We alternate months. I take each kid out in July, my partner takes them in August, and we continue to switch it up. We initially tried both going out each month, but with our busy lives, that didn’t last long. Now, alternating months keeps it manageable, allowing us to balance our schedules.
- We keep it simple. Simple means budget-friendly! Our outings usually involve ice cream or bubble tea. Sometimes, my pre-teen wants to rummage through craft supplies at Michael’s or JoAnn’s. Thrift shops and coffee spots are also on our list. I generally aim to keep our dates under $10 to stick to our family budget.
- We engage in conversation. The kids have suggested movie dates, but we prefer activities that spark conversation. This dedicated time is all about connecting with them, allowing them to share thoughts they might not feel comfortable expressing in front of the whole family.
- We don’t stress about making it perfect. While our one-on-one time is precious, not every outing needs to be life-changing. Some dates have been fantastic, while others have been a bit dull. What counts is simply making the effort. Our kids anticipate these outings and cherish the individual attention, even if it’s just shared ice cream.
- We express our enjoyment. On these dates, my kids often open up in ways they don’t during regular family time. My partner has noticed the same. Those intimate conversations are invaluable, as is the chance to see each child as an individual. Stepping away from our usual routine truly enhances our bond.
This close relationship lays the groundwork for everything from discipline to trust. I often tell my kids how enjoyable these dates are. When kids feel genuinely connected, they’re more likely to be helpful and respectful. I’m confident that this investment in our relationships will pay off in the long run.
It might sound quirky to say we “date” our kids, but that’s exactly what we do. We carve out special time together away from distractions and the daily grind. We learn new things about each other, share stories, laugh, and simply enjoy each other’s company. In essence, we’re falling deeper in love—with each outing being the cherry on top of our family sundae.
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Summary
In summary, scheduling monthly “dates” with each child helps strengthen family bonds and fosters individual connections. By keeping outings simple and conversational, parents can enjoy valuable one-on-one time without the pressure to create perfect experiences.