White Privilege: A Mother’s Viewpoint

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Updated: Sep. 19, 2023

Originally Published: July 28, 2016

As events unfold in various cities, it’s clear that America’s racial tensions didn’t vanish when segregationists backed down. Dr. King didn’t cast a spell, and we didn’t magically come together to sing Kumbaya. White America often recalls this reality during troubling episodes: the tragic shooting of Michael Brown, the heartbreaking death of Tamir Rice, the Jena Six, and the murder of Trayvon Martin. White America gasps in horror, but not at the crimes themselves – though they are undeniably shocking. The real terror emerges in these raw moments, during protests and unjust trials, when White America confronts the deep emotional turmoil of oppression, the anger, fear, and profound grief that are part of the Black American experience. In these instances, Black America holds up a mirror, and White America is often too frightened to look.

Acknowledging white privilege means recognizing your role, however small, in perpetuating ongoing injustice. It opens up a world that challenges previous perceptions. Facing the uncomfortable reality that your group benefits from systemic racism can be daunting. It prompts difficult questions of conscience that many are unprepared to tackle. There’s often an intense frustration — directed at oneself, the oppressive system, and frequently at the media, which serves as an easy scapegoat for feelings of discomfort. But let’s take a moment to reflect.

I have three sons, each two years apart. They have various shades of blond hair and different tints of pinkish-white skin, and they’ll likely spend their days in polo shirts and button-downs. Their eyes shine in shades of blue and green. Essentially, I’m nurturing the very embodiment of privilege, times three. The whiteness is undeniable in these boys.

Store clerks don’t tail my sons, assuming they might pocket something. Their typical kid antics – tantrums, running, shouting – are merely seen as typical childish behavior, not indicative of a stereotype. People don’t presume that, with three kids, I’m plotting to scam the welfare system.

When I carry them in a wrap on my back, no one thinks I’m trying to “go native” or that I must be foreign. If they brandish water guns, no one mistakes them for real firearms and shoots them. When they transition into their teenage years, my worries will be about typical teenage mishaps, like car accidents or dating challenges, not about police violence. If their car breaks down, I won’t fear that someone will call the police, who might endanger them.

In fact, if they choose to, they can openly carry firearms – maybe even in a Chipotle or a Target. They could stroll through our suburban neighborhood, and people would simply think, “Look at those kids enjoying a walk,” not “Look at those punks plotting something.”

People will assume they are bright. No one will comment on their eloquence when they use SAT-level vocabulary. Women won’t cross the street at the sight of them, nor will they clutch their purses tighter. My sons won’t be mistaken for car thieves or intruders in their own homes. They won’t face disproportionate scrutiny from law enforcement. No one will stop and frisk my boys just because they “look suspicious.” They could grow their hair long without anyone assuming it’s a political statement.

Ultimately, my sons will carry an unearned privilege that shields them from many of the challenges that Black America faces. For me, as a mother, white privilege means that my heart doesn’t race with fear each time my kids head out the door, worrying that the police might harm them.

However, this privilege comes with its own responsibility. If I don’t educate my sons about these realities and confront systemic oppression, they may grow up to embody something far more terrifying. They may become part of the problem rather than the solution.

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In summary, recognizing white privilege is crucial for understanding the systemic issues facing society. It’s about confronting uncomfortable truths, educating the next generation, and striving for a more equitable world.