I embrace my reputation as a strict mom, and frankly, I wear it like a badge of honor. My kids have dubbed me the “mean mom,” and you know what? I’m proud of that title. It’s taken years of reflection, a fair share of yelling, and more than a few tears (mostly mine) to feel confident in my parenting choices. When I embarked on this wild adventure called motherhood, I didn’t have all the answers (or any, really), but I did know a few things: there would be rules, and I was determined to raise self-sufficient kids rather than spoiled brats. Oh, and sleep? That was non-negotiable. I didn’t enjoy pulling all-nighters in college, and I sure wasn’t about to start with little ones in the house.
I quickly learned that children don’t come equipped with an instinct for right and wrong, nor do they magically keep their spaces tidy. At first, I set low expectations: I wanted my toddler to pitch in and help pick up his toys at the end of the day. Some days, he’d manage to toss just one toy into the box while I swept up the rest of the chaos. But over time, he learned to tackle those epic Lego piles, and when my daughter arrived a few years later, she followed suit. By consistently involving them in cleanup and modeling the behavior I expected, they eventually grasped what was required around here.
Establishing House Rules
Establishing house rules extended beyond tidiness and fair play. Our home operates like a sleep dictatorship—naps and bedtimes are firmly enforced. However, as any parent of a toddler knows, trying to explain that they need sleep so Mom can binge on Netflix and enjoy a glass of wine doesn’t resonate. Teaching kids how to sleep is crucial, and if I wanted to catch up on my TV shows in the evenings, I needed to equip them with the right skills. A consistent bedtime, strict rules about getting out of bed, and a little ear-plugging during their protests ultimately led to kids who sleep through the night. They learned early on that I wouldn’t be rescuing them from imaginary monsters. (See? Tough love!)
Embracing Independence
Now that my kids are entering their teenage years, it’s time for them to embrace more independence. They’re old enough to take on greater responsibilities at home, and I’m making the most of this opportunity to teach them essential life skills that will serve them well in college and beyond. Just like I taught them to clean up their toy room, I must now prepare them for adulthood, so they aren’t blindsided when they hit their dorm rooms. I’ve gradually stepped back from doing things for them, opting instead to show them how to do it themselves.
Encouraging independence means guiding them through tasks, establishing routines, and then stepping back to let them figure it out—magic or disaster, as it sometimes goes. Recently, my son expressed a desire to have a say in what goes into his lunchbox. Spotting a great teaching moment, I handed him the reins. I stocked the fridge with healthy options, set some ground rules, and sipped my coffee as he crafted his meal. Within a couple of weeks, he was even making his sister’s lunch because he found joy in the task. Now, our mornings are a bit smoother, and I can actually enjoy a cup of coffee before the bus rolls in.
Learning from Mistakes
My friends are often surprised to learn that I don’t monitor my kids’ homework or keep track of their project deadlines. Sure, I assist with challenging homework problems and ensure they have the necessary supplies, but the responsibility for due dates and mistakes is theirs. Hovering over their schoolwork hinders their ability to learn time management and the consequences of missing deadlines. Just recently, my son submitted an assignment a few hours late, impacting his grade and his chances of making the honor society. It was a tough lesson for both of us, but I didn’t swoop in to save him. He faced the consequences, and we both know he’ll put in more effort next time. These lessons learned the hard way will stick with him for life.
Yes, I’m tough on my kids and hold them to high standards every day. They’re expected to contribute to household chores, but I ensure they have the knowledge and skills to succeed. With only a few years left before I send them off into the world, it’s gratifying to see them taking initiative around the house. And trust me, their toilet-cleaning skills will win them some serious brownie points with their college roommates.
If you’re on a similar parenting journey or looking for more tips, check out other insightful resources like this one, or explore this excellent article on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, being a strict parent might not win me any popularity contests, but I know it’s necessary for raising responsible and independent kids who will thrive in the world.