The world can feel a bit unsettling these days, can’t it? Whether it’s actually more dangerous than when our parents were young, or if it just seems that way thanks to the endless barrage of news updates, I often find myself worrying about raising my three sons into courageous, compassionate young men. The reality is, there’s a lot to fear. Sometimes, it can feel so overwhelming that I spiral into a frenzy of anxiety and tears. But I press on—what else can I do? Here are five strategies I rely on to navigate parenting in these anxious times.
1. Focus on What You Can Control
This is a major one. My dad always said we can only control about 10% of what life throws our way, and that’s the focus we should have—decisions like where to live, whether to marry, or what job to take. Everything else? It’ll happen regardless, so worrying is a waste of time. For instance, during a tornado watch last week, instead of imagining our home being demolished, I prepared a stash of snacks and flashlights in the basement, just in case. Concentrate your energy on what’s truly in your hands.
2. Assess the Odds
My partner recently took our kids to an amusement park, and I spent the night before tossing and turning, fretting over the possibility of a mass shooting. Then I caught myself—what were the actual odds? Should I also start worrying about a car accident on the way there? The truth is, the likelihood of those fears materializing is way lower than the chance of my kids having an amazing day with their dad. I reminded myself to focus on the joy they’d experience instead.
3. Share Your Love Daily
Despite our daily routine being the same, getting out the door can feel like a chaotic scramble. But my family knows the drill—no one leaves without giving Mommy a goodbye hug, kiss, and an “I love you.” It may seem trivial, but it’s a meaningful ritual for me. Even if the morning included some shouting over misplaced shoes, I can send them off with warmth and love. If something were to happen, I’d want our last exchange to be a happy one.
4. Savor the Little Moments
Life is about the tiny moments strung together. Take a moment to relish them. Watch how your child’s small hands grasp a spoon during dinner, or listen to the countless times they call out, “Mom, look!” and appreciate their discoveries. Capture those innocent questions—like “Does wind make the trees move, or do the trees moving make wind?”—and cherish how they see the world. It’s these moments that matter, not the fears that loom.
5. Seek the Good Amidst the Bad
I recently came across a wonderful Ralph Waldo Emerson quote: “Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.” It encapsulates what I want for my boys, so we created a fun craft together, painting their handprints and overlaying them with that quote. Now, we have a colorful reminder hanging in our playroom. While it’s important to acknowledge the world’s challenges (when appropriate for their age), it’s equally vital to teach them kindness and hope that they carry it forward.
Years ago, I shared my fears of facing a tragedy with my mom, to which she wisely responded, “You keep going. Because you have to.” And as always, she was right.
Now, open that door. Say “I love you.” And go.
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Summary
Parenting in a world filled with anxiety can be challenging, but by focusing on what we can control, assessing the odds of our worries, expressing love daily, cherishing small moments, and promoting kindness, we can navigate these tough times with a positive outlook.